A Little List

Most of the time I want to use this blog as a place where we (you, the reader and I, the writer) can take responsibility for our marriages. We don’t blame, we own up. We decide together to set aside our preferences. We look for ways we can improve our marriages even if our spouse isn’t so energetic about it. Today is different.

Today, the only thing I want to own up to is that I know… I KNOW… I’m loved. You see, it’s easy for me to try my best to encourage you when I’m living with my own encourager. He makes our marriage easier on me every day, makes me feel secure, makes me feel appreciated. So, today, in honor of the one I crave and his birthday, I’ve decided to write a list. Not a grocery list or a “to do” list, but a list of little ways I know I am loved.

Here’s my list.

  1. That time we whispered to each other in the dark because we still wanted to talk but we were on vacation and sleeping in the same room as our girls.
  2. When he snuggled close to me on the couch, told me he loved me and was proud of me and that I had a “cool hair-cut.”
  3. He gets excited with me and helps me with things I’m excited for, even when I think they are silly. Like decorating for a party.
  4. He pulls me close to dance with me in the kitchen, in front of our girls, because my favorite Motown song is on.
  5. He looks at me with love whether I’m wearing pajamas or heels – or both at the same time.

Now, originally this little list was just a way for me to write down the lovey-dovey things that had been swirling around in my head as Tony’s birthday was approaching. But, according to this article from ThrivingFamily.com by experts Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott, “Couples with lasting marriages described their spouse in glowing terms. Those who eventually divorced talked about their spouse with cynicism.” Yikes! Those are big claims. Are you thinking now about the way you talk about your spouse?

Think for a bit about the ways you know you are loved and the things you love about your spouse. Now, I charge you to write your own little list (and, if you want, share with us below) and #staymarried.

 

P.S. If you enjoyed this post and think it could benefit someone else’s marriage, please consider sharing. Also, if you’re new here, welcome! You might like to check out why we started this blog and my first entry to get a little background. Thanks for stopping by! ~ Michelle

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5 responses

  • 1. Laughing together about getting zero sleep on vacation with our baby.
    2. He asked for my advice for a work decision.
    3. He told me he’s thankful I care so much about us staying married.
    4. He listened to Christmas music with our family (not his favorite pastime) & helps start our own traditions.

  • Top Five (in no particular order):
    1. He prays with and for me and our daughter. Out loud. In front of other people, sometimes.
    2. He goes to Target and the grocery store with me.
    3. He gives serious consideration when I ask his opinion, even if it’s something he isn’t really interested in.
    4. He fills my coffee mug in the morning and gets me ice cream at night. (These are my top two love languages.)
    5. He writes reasons he loves me on post-its and leaves them for me to find.

  • 1. He sings my name randomly throughout the day. It makes me laugh – “ooo Raquelita!”
    2. He cuddles me before I fall asleep.
    3. He asks me every day: “Do you know how much I love you?”
    4. He prays for me when it’s his turn to pray.
    5. He says to me all the time: “Do you know how beautiful you are?”

  • 1. He holds my face in his hands and says, “You know you’re my Ace lady, rght?”
    2. He sings to me all the time.
    3. He sat with me to watch Too Cute on Animal Planet, because he knows how much I love that show. He would have rather watched zombies or something else.
    4. He calls me at work to ask the most random things just so he can hear my voice.
    5. He used to sell the burritos or sandwiches I would make for his lunch ( there was always an extra one for long shifts ) -ie Laura Specials, to the other drivers because, “She is the bomb and these are damn good!”
    *bonus*
    6. He holds my hand all the time. Even if we are just standing in the kitchen or sitting on the couch.

  • 1. He tells me he’s proud of me all of the time. (and it still makes me blush)
    2. He sends me on a scavenger hunt every year for my birthday presents
    3. He rubs my back and feet all the time, even after standing on his feet at work for 10 hour day
    4. He refills my water glass, takes my dishes to the kitchen, and makes sure my blanket is always wrapped around my toes.
    5. When he walks in the door from work he says “where’s my beautiful wife”… no matter what I look like 🙂
    6. We problem solve and execute together. And then hi-five over our accomplishments… no matter how big or small!
    7. He hangs out with my family even when I can’t be there. LOVE!