Managing Money as a Team

S4 Ep9 of The #staymarried Podcast: Managing Money as a Team with Elle Martinez of Couple Money

Money matters are often listed in the top 5 reasons couples argue. But, what if something as intense as the topic of finances could instead bring us closer together? In this episode Tony and Michelle sit down with Elle Martinez of Couple Money to answer some listener questions, like this one…

Hey Michelle and Tony,

My husband and I have only been married for two years, and I guess we should have talked more about this before we got married, but I didn’t think it would be a problem. He works as a commercial electrician and I just finished my degree in early childhood education and am now looking for work. Now that I’m not a student anymore, I’m looking at a bunch of debt and I don’t have an income yet. My husband said he is willing to help me out of his income, but he is not interested in combining our bank accounts or our finances. He wants to keep everything separate.

Sometimes I feel like he is really generous to help me with all my debt, but I also think about my parents relationship and how they handled money so different than we do. They had a shared account and all the money they earned went into the one account. I guess my question is, do you guys think we are making it harder on ourselves by having separate accounts? Do you think there is an advantage to our marriage to having shared accounts, or is it better to keep it all separate?

Thanks for your help,
“Fannie Mae’s Favorite”

We hope you enjoy this conversation…

Elle is the author of Jumpstart Your Marriage and Your Money: A 4 Week Guide to Building Wealth Together. She is also the host of the Couple Money podcast where she regularly invites couples into greater understanding of their finances and the simple hacks that can help dump debt and build wealth. If you are an Email Friend, you should have already received Elle’s Free Money Toolkit she’s offered our community. If you’re not already on our email list, well, let’s go ahead and take care of that – Subscribe to #staymarried Emails – But, we’re not going to leave you hanging. Elle would still like to get this Free Money Toolkit into your hands. You can find out more here.

S4 Ep9 of The #staymarried Podcast: Managing Money as a Team with Elle Martinez of Couple Money

#staymarried After Hours – Financial Infidelity

We had so much to talk about with Elle that we weren’t able to fit it all into one episode. We continue the conversation over at our unlisted podcast, #staymarried After Hours, where we dug into the concept of financial infidelity. You can learn more about #staymarried After Hours and how you can support #staymarried through Patreon here.

 

We want to hear from you! Leave a comment or question below for us or you can submit a question privately here: Ask #staymarried. We may even answer your question in an upcoming episode. Oh! Don’t forget we have a new phone number, too 262.622.6638

And, of course, keep in touch with us on the socials: TwitterFacebook, and Instagram. I’d love to connect on any of your favorite platforms. We can’t wait to hear from you!


#staymarried was created to offer hope, stories, and resources for couples who want to stay married.

If you’re NEW HERE, check out our About Page and read a little more about my own background on our first post.

Thank you for reading, sharing, and being a part of this #staymarried community!

~ Michelle

 

S4 Ep9 of The #staymarried Podcast: Managing Money as a Team with Elle Martinez of Couple Money

 

 

 

 

 

We Are Black Love

S4 Ep8 of The #staymarried Podcast: We Are Black Love with Codie and Tommy Oliver

Tommy and Codie Oilver are the creators of Black Love, a docuseries on the Oprah Winfrey Network featuring married couples talking about what it takes to make love last.

Can you see how I might have taken an interest in their work?

Codie is the director and the couple produces together. The show debuted on OWN as the highest rated unscripted series in the network’s history and featured couples like Viola Davis & Julius Tennon, Tia Mowry and Cory Hardrict, Sterling K. Brown and Ryan Michelle Bathe, and Grant Hill and his wife Tamia.

Now, the reason I’m doing all of this name dropping is because, as you’ll hear in our interview with them, Tommy and Codie really won’t. But this intentionality they have with choosing their guests is significant to me because, what they’ve done by interviewing everyone from celebrities to non-celebrities is to show that nobody is above fights over dishes and laundry. They show clearly that there is no one perfect way to make a marriage work.

Enjoy!

 

S4 Ep8 of The #staymarried Podcast: We Are Black Love with Codie and Tommy Oliver

BlackLove.com is a digital destination for 360 degrees of Black Love from self love and dating to partnership and parenting.

Black Love, the series, can be found on OWN On Demand, Amazon, and the Urban Movie Channel streaming app. Season 3 airs in Spring/Summer 2019.

S4 Ep8 of The #staymarried Podcast: We Are Black Love with Codie and Tommy Oliver

#staymarried After Hours

Want to hear more from The Petersons? You can learn more about #staymarried After Hours and how you can support #staymarried through Patreon here.

S4 Ep8 of The #staymarried Podcast: We Are Black Love with Codie and Tommy Oliver S4 Ep8 of The #staymarried Podcast: We Are Black Love with Codie and Tommy Oliver S4 Ep8 of The #staymarried Podcast: We Are Black Love with Codie and Tommy Oliver S4 Ep8 of The #staymarried Podcast: We Are Black Love with Codie and Tommy Oliver

We want to hear from you! Leave a comment or question below for us or you can submit a question privately here: Ask #staymarried. We may even answer your question in an upcoming episode. Oh! Don’t forget we have a new phone number, too 262.622.6638

And, of course, keep in touch with us on the socials: TwitterFacebook, and Instagram. I’d love to connect on any of your favorite platforms. We can’t wait to hear from you!


#staymarried was created to offer hope, stories, and resources for couples who want to stay married.

If you’re NEW HERE, check out our About Page and read a little more about my own background on our first post.

Thank you for reading, sharing, and being a part of this #staymarried community!

~ Michelle

 

S4 Ep8 of The #staymarried Podcast: We Are Black Love with Codie and Tommy Oliver

 

 

 

 

 

Problems to Solve and Tensions to Manage

S4 Ep7 of The #staymarried Podcast - Problems to Solve and Tensions to Manage with Tony and Michelle Peterson

While we work on honing our communication skills and learning how to fight fair, it’s not always easy to know if what we’re dealing with is a problem that needs a soution or simply a tension that needs to be managed.

In this conversation, we tackle two of the most common marriage problems we hear about through Ask #staymarried. We’re answering not one, but TWO questions from listeners.

With the first question, we’ll address Laura and answer how to take criticism from your partner. Then we’ll answer a question from “Not into horses…” on how to navigate boundaries with the in-laws.

Enjoy!

 

 

S4 Ep7 of The #staymarried Podcast with Tony and Michelle Peterson

Season 3 Episode 7 of The #staymarried Podcast: Problems to Solve and Tensions to Manage

S4 Ep7 of The #staymarried Podcast with Tony and Michelle Peterson

 

#staymarried After Hours

Want to hear more from The Petersons? You can learn more about #staymarried After Hours and how you can support #staymarried through Patreon here.

We want to hear from you! Leave a comment or question below for us or you can submit a question privately here: Ask #staymarried. We may even answer your question in an upcoming episode. Oh! Don’t forget we have a new phone number, too 262.622.6638

And, of course, keep in touch with us on the socials: TwitterFacebook, and Instagram. I’d love to connect on any of your favorite platforms. We can’t wait to hear from you!


#staymarried was created to offer hope, stories, and resources for couples who want to stay married.

If you’re NEW HERE, check out our About Page and read a little more about my own background on our first post.

Thank you for reading, sharing, and being a part of this #staymarried community!

~ Michelle

 

 

S4 Ep7 of The #staymarried Podcast with Tony and Michelle Peterson

Church Shopping, or Nah?

Podcast_S4_SocialSquare5

Whether or not you grew up in a culturally religious home, there is no denying that the way we think about spirituality as adults impacts the way we treat each other in our marriages.

While it’s not necessary to see eye-to-eye on every detail of your theology – what you think about God – it is important to have common ground. Yet, even when two people share their faith, they may not agree on how that faith works out when it comes to attending religious services or going to church as a family.

In this episode, we unpack a question from Rachel submitted to Ask #staymarried. She’s concerned that her husband Shawn, who once attended church with her regularly, would now prefer to spend his Sundays hunting and fishing. She asked us if we have advice on how to “get him to come to church” with her. We address that, as well as our own perspective on our current “church shopping” journey.

Enjoy!

I mentioned Church Clarity as one helpful resource if you happen to be on your own “church shopping” journey. You can learn more about them here… And, we agree with them; Clarity is reasonable.

Church Shopping, or Nah? Church Clarity is Reasonable

 

 

#staymarried After Hours

Want to hear more from The Peterson’s? You can learn more about #staymarried After Hours and how you can support #staymarried through Patreon here.

 

We want to hear from you! Leave a comment or question below for us or you can submit a question privately here: Ask #staymarried. We may even answer your question in an upcoming episode. Oh! Don’t forget we have a new phone number, too 262.622.6638

And, of course, keep in touch with us on the socials: TwitterFacebook, and Instagram. I’d love to connect on any of your favorite platforms. We can’t wait to hear from you!


#staymarried was created to offer hope, stories, and resources for couples who want to stay married.

If you’re NEW HERE, check out our About Page and read a little more about my own background on our first post.

Thank you for reading, sharing, and being a part of this #staymarried community!

~ Michelle

 

 

InstagramStoriesGraphic_S4Ep5a

Grieving with Hope After Miscarriage and Loss

Grieving with Hope After Miscarriage and Loss with Ryan and Adriel Booker on The #staymarried Podcast

“I used to think miscarriage and infant loss were women’s issues,” Adriel told us. “But, after going through this with my own husband, I see that these things impact both men and women, and your entire family and community.”

On October 25, 1988, then President Ronald Reagan dedicated the entire month of October as Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month (P.A.I.L.). We’ve since learned that roughly 1 in 4 women will or have experienced a miscarraige in their lifetime. As high as that statistic is, and with an international awareness campaign picking up steam since the 80’s, it is still uncommon to hear real stories of what this experience does to a family.

Ryan and Adriel Booker generously share their experience with grief and loss and also hope. After experiencing 3 miscarriages, they reflect on their journey and share much wisdom for the rest of us. Whether you’ve experienced miscarriage and loss in your own life or not, statistically speaking you know someone who has and this episode will shine a light on what it’s really like and how to navigate these rough waters with your marriage intact.

About the Bookers

Ryan and Adriel Booker lead an urban YWAM ministry together in the heart of Sydney, Australia. They have three beautiful (loud, spirited, sensitive, hilarious) boys around their dinner table and three little ones in heaven. Their other “son” is Frankie the pup, who thinks he’s human. Grace Like Scarlett: Grieving with Hope After Miscarriage and Loss with Ryan and Adriel Booker on The #staymarried Podcast
Adriel sometimes wonders how she got completely buried in boys but is thankful they have Coco the kitty to help balance out all the man power in the place. (She only wishes Coco wasn’t so afraid of all the boys. Where’s the #girlpower?) In their spare time, Ryan likes to create things Adriel can’t find space for in the house, and Adriel likes to rearrange furniture at convenient times like 10:00pm on Tuesday night.

Adriel is the author of Grace Like Scarlett: Grieving with Hope after Miscarriage and Loss and together Ryan and Adriel have a passion to see God’s goodness known among the earth through whatever opportunities they’re given.

Please enjoy our conversation with Ryan and Adriel.

 

Journaling Our Scarlett Stories

Seeing the healing power of sharing her own stories and also reading countless other men and women share their stories, Adriel has generously created a guide for those processing their own grief after miscarriage and loss. You can access that free resource here.

Grieving with Hope After Miscarriage and Loss with Ryan and Adriel Booker on The #staymarried Podcast

Grieving with Hope After Miscarriage and Loss with Ryan and Adriel Booker on The #staymarried Podcast

 

Grieving with Hope After Miscarriage and Loss with Ryan and Adriel Booker on The #staymarried Podcast

Grieving with Hope After Miscarriage and Loss with Ryan and Adriel Booker on The #staymarried Podcast

Grieving with Hope After Miscarriage and Loss with Ryan and Adriel Booker on The #staymarried Podcast

Grieving with Hope After Miscarriage and Loss with Ryan and Adriel Booker on The #staymarried Podcast

 

Grieving with Hope After Miscarriage and Loss with Ryan and Adriel Booker on The #staymarried Podcast

 

Grieving with Hope After Miscarriage and Loss with Ryan and Adriel Booker on The #staymarried Podcast

 

#staymarried After Hours

For the sake of time, we needed to cut our conversation with the Bookers a little short on this interview, but we continued it on our new side-show #staymarried After Hours. There, Ryan and Adriel shared more about how they worked to keep their marriage intact during this grieving process as well as how they included their young children in their mourning. You can learn more about #staymarried After Hours and how you can support #staymarried through Patreon here.

Grieving with Hope After Miscarriage and Loss with Ryan and Adriel Booker on The #staymarried Podcast

We want to hear from you! Leave a comment or question below for us or you can submit a question privately here: Ask #staymarried. We may even answer your question in an upcoming episode. Oh! Don’t forget we have a new phone number, too 262.622.6638

And, of course, keep in touch with us on the socials: TwitterFacebook, and Instagram. I’d love to connect on any of your favorite platforms. We can’t wait to hear from you!

Want to get your hands on this sweet new #staymarried Snapback? Find it here.


#staymarried was created to offer hope, stories, and resources for couples who want to stay married.

If you’re NEW HERE, check out our About Page and read a little more about my own background on our first post.

Thank you for reading, sharing, and being a part of this #staymarried community!

~ Michelle

 

 

Grieving with Hope After Miscarriage and Loss with Ryan and Adriel Booker on The #staymarried Podcast

Unemployment and the Basic Needs of a Marriage

S4 Ep3 of The #staymarried Podcast with Tony and Michelle Peterson

It’s tough to work on your relationship when your basic needs are threatened. It’s tough to be kind, respectful, and gracious toward those around you when you don’t know where your next meal is coming from or if you might not have a place to live. Losing your job, your home, or your business unexpectedly can be one of the greatest strains a relationship can endure.

In this episode I share, that ever since we both lost our jobs, I’ve been thinking about what that strain is doing to our marriage. Using Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs as a lense, we explore together what this season of unemployment has taught us about the true value of investing in our own relationship. We also share the practical tools we’re using to make sure we’re still on the same team.

Enjoy!

“It is quite true that man lives by bread alone — when there is no bread. But what happens to man’s desires when there is plenty of bread and when his belly is chronically filled?

At once other (and “higher”) needs emerge and these, rather than physiological hungers, dominate the organism. And when these in turn are satisfied, again new (and still “higher”) needs emerge and so on. This is what we mean by saying that the basic human needs are organized into a hierarchy of relative prepotency” (Maslow, 1943, p. 375).

It’s important to know that Maslow’s theory evolved over time, the needs expanded and descriptions became more detailed and granular. But, for the purposes of our conversation together, Tony and I only focused on the original five stages.

Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs of The #staymarried Podcast with Tony and Michelle Peterson

I also mentioned the following book by Eli J. Finkel. In The All-or-Nothing Marriage, this author also explores how Maslow’s concept of the hierarchy of needs relates to marriage. Worth a look if you’re on the hunt for your next marriage resource.

The All-or-Nothing Marriage by Eli J. Finkel #staymarried Podcast with Tony and Michelle Peterson

#staymarried is now on Patreon

We have BIG DREAMS to see #staymarried become self-supporting so we can expand and develop new resources to help couples with their own goals to #staymarried. One of the resources I’d love to offer is transcripts of past episodes. We know our blog posts are translated into many languages because of the magic of the internet, and we’d love to make our show more accessible, too.

Patreon has been a fun way for us to interact with listeners that want to see these big dreams become a reality. We’ve got a secret/unlisted podcast called #staymarried After Hours where we continue the conversation from our regular show and share even a few more behind the scenes insights. You can learn more about how to support #staymarried through Patreon for as little as $1 per month here.

 

We want to hear from you! Tony opened the show by asking me a critical question: What is my zombie apocalypse weapon of choice? Did you and your partner answer the question? Would we all be zombie warriors together, or did you choose a weapon that’s definitely going to get us all killed? Share in the comments.

We would also like to know what would you like us to cover this season. Leave a comment or question below for us or you can submit a question privately here: Ask #staymarried. We may even answer your question in an upcoming episode. Oh! Don’t forget we have a new phone number, too 262.622.6638

And, of course, keep in touch with us on the socials: TwitterFacebook, and Instagram. I’d love to connect on any of your favorite platforms. We can’t wait to hear from you!

Want to get your hands on this sweet new #staymarried Snapback? Find it here.


#staymarried was created to offer hope, stories, and resources for couples who want to stay married.

If you’re NEW HERE, check out our About Page and read a little more about my own background on our first post.

Thank you for reading, sharing, and being a part of this #staymarried community!

~ Michelle

 

 

S4 Ep3 of The #staymarried Podcast with Tony and Michelle Peterson

A Devotional Journey

S4 Ep2 of The #staymarried Podcast with Tony and Michelle Peterson and Brian and Ochelle Drysdale“I promise, Ochelle, he’s not a serial killer. What’s the worst that can happen? You’ll get a free meal out of the date…”

Those were the words that convinced Ochelle to make a date with a man she’d never met, O’Brian.

Brian, as he’s known by his friends, is a former Marine turned fitness manager and Ochelle is a software engineer. They live in Brooklyn where they both keep busy giving back to the community; Brian hosts a fitness boot camp and Ochelle directs the church choir and teaches kids to code through programs like Girls who Code and Allstar Code.

They also give back on Instagram where they can be found @OluvesO sharing videos of the real and raw coversations they’re having as they read through #staymarried: A Couple’s Devotional. As an author, I was intrigued to hear the unique ways they apply this book to their lives and how it’s not only made an impact on their marriage, but on their relationships with their family and friends.

We hope you enjoy our conversation with OluvesO…

 

S4 Ep2 of The #staymarried Podcast with Tony and Michelle Peterson and Brian and Ochelle Drysdale

S4 Ep2 of The #staymarried Podcast with Tony and Michelle Peterson and Brian and Ochelle Drysdale

S4 Ep2 of The #staymarried Podcast with Tony and Michelle Peterson and Brian and Ochelle Drysdale

#staymarried is now on Patreon

You can learn more about how to support #staymarried through Patreon for as little as $1 per month here.

The #staymarried Book

#staymarried: A Couple's Devotional by Michelle PetersonThe #staymaried Book is a 52 Week Couples Devotional, each chapter exploring how our faith works together with our everyday lives and with relationship research to give a fuller picture of how we can create a marriage that doesn’t simply last, but fulfills our lives and helps us pursue our dreams. Find out more about the book here.

 

We want to hear from you! Did you answer the question from the episode? What would you like us to cover this season? Leave a comment or question below for us or you can submit a question privately here: Ask #staymarried. We may even answer your question in an upcoming episode. Oh! Don’t forget we have a new phone number, too 262.622.6638

And, of course, keep in touch with us on the socials: TwitterFacebook, and Instagram. I’d love to connect on any of your favorite platforms. We can’t wait to hear from you!

Want to get your hands on this sweet new #staymarried Snapback? Find it here.


#staymarried was created to offer hope, stories, and resources for couples who want to stay married.

If you’re NEW HERE, check out our About Page and read a little more about my own background on our first post.

Thank you for reading, sharing, and being a part of this #staymarried community!

~ Michelle

 

 

S4 Ep2 of The #staymarried Podcast with Tony and Michelle Peterson and Brian and Ochelle Drysdale

New & Improved

S4 Ep1 of The #staymarried Podcast with Tony and Michelle PetersonA lot can happen in a year. Some years of our marriage have felt like imprints of the years before, but not this year. This year had more twists and turns, highs and lows, wins and losses, than any of our previous 11 years together. Whew! We are still trying to catch our breath from this whirlwind and we know we are far from settled just yet. But, that’s not stopping us…

We are thrilled to be back with Season 4 of The #staymarried Podcast. We’ve missed you, your questions and emails. We’ve often wished we could hear your voices, so… NOW WE CAN!

Call Us! 262.622.6638

One of the fun features that makes us NEW & IMPROVED is a good old fashioned telephone. If you’d rather chat than type, you can now call us and leave us a short and sweet message. With your permission, we may even incorporate it into an episode on the show. Tony keeps saying he wants to be more “interactive” so, I sure hope you call because he recorded an outgoing message and everything. He thinks you’re gonna call…

#staymarried is now on Patreon

One of the challenges we faced over the break between Seasons 3 and 4 was cutting back on some outgoing expenses from our family budget. For the first time ever, we had to consider NOT funding #staymarried ourselves (hosting and other blogging and podcasting related expenses add up). That meant we were either done for the time being, or we bring in advertisers and Tony dies a little inside, OR we toss it out to you fine people and see if any of you would like to help us make #staymarried fully listener-supported.

To thank our Patrons we’ve decided to host ANOTHER PODCAST! I know, that’s ridiculous. But, Tony talked me into it and so far he’s doing the majority of the work so right now it still feels like a good idea. This new podcast, #staymarried After Hours, takes all the thoughts and trimmings from interviews and our own private conversations and picks them up off the cutting room floor, carefully stitches them together, and delivers them to you. As a Patron, you will get to help shape the format and content of this unlisted podcast, so we can’t wait to see what you come up with. You can learn more about how to support #staymarried through Patreon for as little as $1 per month here.

 

 

We want to hear from you! Did you answer the question from the episode? What would you like us to cover this season? Leave a comment or question below for us or you can submit a question privately here: Ask #staymarried. We may even answer your question in an upcoming episode. Oh! Don’t forget we have a new phone number, too 262.622.6638

And, of course, keep in touch with us on the socials: TwitterFacebook, and Instagram. I’d love to connect on any of your favorite platforms. We can’t wait to hear from you!

Want to get your hands on this sweet new #staymarried Snapback? Find it here.


#staymarried was created to offer hope, stories, and resources for couples who want to stay married.

If you’re NEW HERE, check out our About Page and read a little more about my own background on our first post.

Thank you for reading, sharing, and being a part of this #staymarried community!

~ Michelle

 

 

S4 Ep1 of The #staymarried Podcast with Tony and Michelle Peterson

How to Lose Your Job and Keep Your Marriage

How To Lose Your Job and Keep Your Marriage #staymarried

Petersons take risks.

This precedent was set up early in our marriage. When, after being married for just a year, a friend asked us to quit our jobs and move with him from Seattle to southeast Wisconsin to help him start a church, we said yes. Now, it wasn’t as easy to do as that sentence was for me to type. There was a lot to consider and plenty of logistics and timing to work out. But, in the end, we basically said, “What do we have to lose? Even if it flops, we still have each other. Let’s do it!” So, we did. And, it didn’t flop. By all accounts most people would say we succeeded. In fact, that church still exists today, ten years after we said yes.

Then, after three years of hard work, a depleted savings account, and an 18-month-old, we moved back home again to Seattle to start new jobs at a different church.

I’ll spare you the sordid details, but suffice it to say, it wasn’t a good fit. Now we had two babies and we took another risk; we quit! I would have stayed, but my dear Tony put it very simply to me when he said, “I cannot take a paycheck from a church when I am not on board with the vision of the leader. Can’t do it,” and that was that. He began hustling some freelance graphic design work, I carted my newborn and toddler with me to do some book-keeping for a friend’s construction company (these friends were very generous to employ me because I was not at all good at that job) and we kept believing in each other and putting one foot in front of the other.

We take risks. We believe in each other.

So, last year, after six years of living in our favorite place in the Pacific Northwest and finding ourselves in a church community we really loved and felt we could be ourselves in, and Tony working at Microsoft on projects that energized him, and me finding my voice as a writer with #staymarried and fulfilling a dream of publishing my first book, we took a risk again. That old friend from Wisconsin asked us if we would come back to work at the church we helped start all those years ago. This time the stakes were much higher. The first time we moved to the midwest we were newly married with no kids. This time we were celebrating our tenth anniversary, raising three incredible daughters, Tony was in a career he loved, and I was loving being a stay-at-home-mom-writer-dreamer. This time it was not so easy to say yes.

Still, after nearly a year of negotiating and putting all the puzzle pieces together, we said yes again. For a couple of people who never feel like we fit in at church, we sure say yes to the local church a lot. Tony would be the Executive Pastor of Music and Creative and I would be the Executive Pastor of Communication and Leadership Development. We were energized and full of vision and we moved and believed we could help and do good work here. We believed it was worth the risk. 

How to Lose Your Job and Keep Your Marriage #staymarried

But, sometimes, the risk doesn’t reap a reward.

Just a year later, because of “reprioritizing a tightening budget” I’ve been laid off. I’ve been assured it has nothing to do with my job performance, it’s not personal, but SHEESH! This is a tough one.

Tony and I found out I would lose my job the day before our eleventh anniversary in June. Because ministry life is effing complicated, we couldn’t share the news with anyone but each other. I hadn’t received a formal notice, and wouldn’t for more than a month after I was told. It was just a conversation, it hardly seemed real. Did I really just lose my job? How exactly, was this decision made?

That night, we sat on our blue couch, the couch we’ve interviewed countless couples from for The #staymarried Podcast about their own struggles and triumphs, and we played out the worst case scenarios we could think of.

Will we have to move again? We haven’t saved enough. We weren’t prepared for this. Will we stay in Wisconsin? What choice do we have? What will we tell our nanny? WHEN will we tell our nanny? Man, I wanted to get bikes for the kids this summer. That’s out. I was thinking of a trip home for my birthday. That’s out. We already cut Tony’s salary because church work simply doesn’t pay as much as Microsoft graphic design work, but adding my salary with his brought us almost back up to his salary alone from his last job. We are about to lose nearly half our income. We didn’t see this coming. This is not cool…

And I cried, and Tony had tears in his eyes, and he hugged me and we agreed; we have each other. Even if we have nothing else, we have each other and we will be okay…

Have you ever been there? Have you ever faced the hard thing, turned toward each other, and been able to believe wholeheartedly that even without any external guarantees, having each other would be enough?

It’s in the vows, right? “For richer, for poorer…” we say, as we gaze into each other’s eyes before we’ve ever actually sat across from a kitchen table and paid bills together. 

A few years ago Tony and I watched our friends Jim and Annie put their own spin on those classic words when they their exchanged vows.

“In poverty, I promise to make our love rich. In wealth, I promise not to let our love grow poor.”

This picture of intentionality has always stuck with me. And here we are, facing the reality of losing half our income for an unknown amount of time. Can we still make our love rich? We determined we would.

How To Lose Your Job and Keep Your Marriage #staymarried Modern Wedding Vows

We determined that we wouldn’t let ourselves fall into panic or despair. We grieved, we still grieve, and we did our best to ask questions and make sense of how this could happen, but then we’d pivot and try to spend more energy on what could possibly be next instead of what was no longer.

We decided to focus on 3 questions:

  1. What is good?
  2. What is true?
  3. What can I do?

It was easy to come up with answers to the first question, and once we began naming good things to each other, we were reminded of even more goodness in our lives. We have great kids, we love the school they go to, we are thankful for our home, we have good good friends. We can name what is good.

How to Lose Your Job and Keep Your Marriage #staymarried Peterson Family 2018

What was true was that I did my best in my job. Nothing about it was easy, but I worked hard and with transparency and integrity. It was also true that I didn’t cause the loss of my own job, so spending my time tracing back every possible turn I might have accidentally taken in the wrong direction over this last year was a futile exercise in finding the lie. What is good? What is true? Now, what can I do?

For a couple of clumsy months I began sending out my newly refreshed resume to local companies and non-profit organizations. I wasn’t totally clear on what I wanted to do, just aware that I needed to get back to work. I also began dreaming again about #staymarried and all of the new ideas I want to explore to help support couples.

Another thing I could actively do was choose to navigate my own grief and confusion. I’m great at stuffing things down and marching on, but that wasn’t going to work this time.

Most nights Tony and I head outside for a minimum of 15 minutes, we call it our “Nightly Debrief.” So, nightly, we processed how we were feeling, what I was working on to try to find work, what I was thinking of for #staymarried, and absolutely everything else. We focused our conversations always around those three questions…

  1. What is good?
  2. What is true?
  3. What can I do?

Our Nightly Debriefs helped me focus on what was ahead. I knew I didn’t need to be too worried because, well, at least Tony still had his job. And, despite watching me lose my role on staff, he was still determined to do his best to course correct and build up the creative and music team at church into something really wonderful. I’m here to cheer him on. I don’t know anybody who works harder than my husband.

Then, on a Monday morning just eight weeks after finding out I would lose my job, Tony sent me a text from a meeting telling me, “I just lost my job. [Our friend] believes I’m taking the music team in a direction he doesn’t want it to go and he said my time here is done.” Just like that we went from Sleepless in Seattle to Jobless in Wisconsin. Now what?

How to Lose Your Job and Keep Your Marriage #staymarried

In her article Job Loss Tests Marriages: 5 Tips to Detour a Marital Meltdown, Laurie Puhn writes, “Even happy couples admit that the sudden economic downturn is testing their ‘I do’ commitment.” Even happy couples, guys. This stuff is seriously stressful. So, before we turn on each other and panic, Tony and I are back to asking those same three questions…

  1. What is good?
  2. What is true?
  3. What can we do?

Petersons take risks. We believe in each other. We are in this thing together. We take risks and sometimes those risks don’t reap a reward, and that’s okay. We’re excited to see how this path will unfold and since our calendar is suddenly pretty clear, we’re choosing to head full throttle into the work we love to do together and that’s right here on #staymarried!

The #staymarried Podcast is back!

We’re excited to announce that on Wednesday, September 19th, we will launch Season 4 of The #staymarried Podcast. A LOT has happened this past year and we can’t wait to share what we’ve been up to, what we’ve learned, how working together in tense environments challenged our marriage, and we’d love to bring you along on our journey as we try to figure out what’s next.

We realize that unemployment can certainly test the strength of a marriage. We are living in that struggle and stress even as you read these words. But, we are determined to draw closer to each other, to build into our relationship, to work through this as a team, and to #staymarried.

The #staymarried blog was created to offer hope, stories, and resources for couples who want to stay married.

Tony and Michelle Peterson 2017

Wait! What’s the plan?

It’s true, we don’t really know what we’re going to do next, but we have a 3-pronged strategy…

1. Resumes
Submit our fancy new resumes to all of the interesting jobs.

2. Freelance
Tony is now accepting new projects. Check out his portfolio here. I am also accepting projects on his behalf, because teamwork.

3. Patreon
We are now looking for supporters for The #staymarried Podcast. Interested in how you can help? Find out more here.

Learn more about these custom #staymarried Snapback hats on Patreon.

If you found this post helpful, we would be honored if you would share it. Our big dream is to see more and more people living in happy and healthy marriages!

Interested in more posts like this? You might like…
Does Marriage Really Have to be Hard Work? – #staymarried blog
♥ Your Baggage Doesn’t Have to Wreck Your Marriage – #staymarried Podcast

If you’re NEW HERE, check out our About Page and read a little more about my own background on our first post. You can also find us on the socials: PinterestTwitterFacebook, and Instagram. I’d love to connect on any of your favorite platforms.

Thank you ever so much for reading, sharing, and being a part of this #staymarried community!

~ Michelle

S3 E23 | Marriage is Not a Product. It’s an Investment.

Marriage is an InvestmentWe live in a consumer culture, and it’s easy to fall into the mentality that your marriage is a product that either works for you or it fails you.

But, the truth is, marriage is not a prodcut. It’s an investment. It requires a little work all the time in order to thrive.

In this episode of The #staymarried Podcast, we address one listener’s email about how #staymarried has failed his marriage…

 

Enjoy!

 

Listen to “S3 E23: Marriage is Not a Product. It’s an Investment.” on Spreaker.

 

 

Feel free to leave a comment or question below for us or you can submit a question privately here: Ask #staymarried. We may even answer your question in an upcoming episode.

And, of course, keep in touch with us on the socials: TwitterFacebook, and Instagram. I’d love to connect on any of your favorite platforms. We can’t wait to hear from you!


Tony and Michelle Peterson 2017The #staymarried blog was created to offer hope, stories, and resources for couples who want to stay married.

If you’re NEW HERE, check out our About Page and read a little more about my own background on our first post.

Thank you for reading, sharing, and being a part of this #staymarried community!

~ Michelle

 

S3 E21 | A Peek Inside a Therapist’s Marriage with Zach and Rebecca Brittle

S3 Ep21 - Watching for Sparks, with Zach and Rebecca Brittle“People seldom improve when they have no other model but themselves to copy.”

That idea, attributed to Oliver Goldsmith, reminds me that having friends with healthy marriages is a great way to keep my own marriage strong and healthy.

That’s one of the reasons we interview couples like Zach and Rebecca Brittle. You may remember Zach Brittle from Season 2, Episode 4 when he shared his perspective as a Marriage and Family Therapist about how we can find romance in our everyday interactions with each other.

In Season 3, we’ve been more focused on sharing stories of real married couples and I really wanted to hear from his wife! Tony and I had spent some time with Zach and Rebecca a few months ago, and they were so full of hope and practicality, that we decided to invite them over again and this time we put microphones in front of their faces.
S3 Ep21 - Watching for Sparks, with Zach and Rebecca Brittle

Zach often jokes that he and Rebecca have been happily married for 19 out of 20 years. Well, in this interview, Tony didn’t let him get away with this joke. I’m so glad Tony asked some bold questions and so thankful that Zach and Rebecca were willing to share about the hardest seasons in their 20 year marriage along with some hope and insights for those of us who have yet to cross that incredible milestone.

Enjoy!

 

Listen to “S3 Ep21: A Peek Inside a Therapist’s Marriage with Zach and Rebecca Brittle” on Spreaker.

 

Not only is Zach Brittle a pro, he is also super generous.
Zach’s offering our #staymarried community this fantastic resource for FREE.
Click here to get 20 Questions for Deeper Connection.

Every person who downloads this free gift will also be entered to win lifetime access to Zach’s online marriage course: Marriage in Motion.
Normally this course costs at least $397, but one of you is getting access for FREE! Can you tell I’m a little excited for you?

20 Questions for Deeper Connection by Zach Brittle

Download 20 Questions

 

S3 Ep21 - Watching for Sparks, with Zach and Rebecca Brittle

Feel free to leave a comment or question below for us or you can submit a question privately here: Ask #staymarried. We may even answer your question in an upcoming episode.

And, of course, keep in touch with us on the socials: TwitterFacebook, and Instagram. I’d love to connect on any of your favorite platforms. We can’t wait to hear from you!


Tony and Michelle Peterson 2017The #staymarried blog was created to offer hope, stories, and resources for couples who want to stay married.

If you’re NEW HERE, check out our About Page and read a little more about my own background on our first post.

Thank you for reading, sharing, and being a part of this #staymarried community!

~ Michelle

 

S3 E20 | The Positive Perspective

A Positive Perspective Could Make All The Difference #staymarriedIt’s natural to feel the impact of negative interactions more intensely than the positive ones. But, if we want to enjoy our marriages for decades to come, we need to learn the practice and benefits of developing a positive perspective.

In this episode we break down what we’ve learned from Dr. John Gottman and others about this essential marriage ingredient.

 

Enjoy!

 

Listen to “S3 E20: The Positive Perspective” on Spreaker.

 

For more about the Positive Perspective, check out this article on The Gottman Blog by Zach Brittle:

The Positive Perspective

Feel free to leave a comment or question below for us or you can submit a question privately here: Ask #staymarried. We may even answer your question in an upcoming episode.

And, of course, keep in touch with us on the socials: TwitterFacebook, and Instagram. I’d love to connect on any of your favorite platforms. We can’t wait to hear from you!


Tony and Michelle Peterson 2017The #staymarried blog was created to offer hope, stories, and resources for couples who want to stay married.

If you’re NEW HERE, check out our About Page and read a little more about my own background on our first post.

Thank you for reading, sharing, and being a part of this #staymarried community!

~ Michelle

 

S3 E17 | The Problem with Your Soulmate

The Problem with Your Soulmate - #staymarriedMany of us imagine that marriage should come naturally… if we’re with the right person. So, if it’s difficult, we figure it might be because we are with the wrong person. We see this theme a lot when we look through the questions you’ve submitted at Ask #staymarried.

Today we are reaching back to the archives from Season 2 of The #staymarried Podcast when Tony and I answered Nikki’s question, “How do I know if we’re meant to be together or if it’s for the best if we go our separate ways?”

Enjoy!

 

Listen to “S3 E17: The Problem with Your Soulmate” on Spreaker.

The problem with the soul mate mentality is that none of us really are the right person for anyone else. We each come into our marriages with our own set of weird habits, temper triggers, and childhood traumas. Even great marriages, where two people are as compatible as any two people ever could be, still require work. Marriage becomes a journey, not only to discover more about the person we’ve committed our lives to, but also to discover ourselves.The Problem with Your Soulmate - #staymarried

We would love to know what you think of soul mates! How do you approach this idea in your own marriage? Have you been in Nikky’s shoes, wondering whether or not you married the right one? Comment below and let us know if you have any insight or words of wisdom for us or for Nikky. One thing we know for sure is that we’re all just trying to figure this marriage thing out and find out if it’s possible to #staymarried.

The Problem with Your Soulmate - #staymarried

Want to read more about this topic? Check these out…

Does Marriage Really Have to Be Hard Work?
♥ Six Conversations Every Couple Must Have

 The #staymarried blog was created to offer hope, stories, and resources for couples who want to stay married.
Feel free to leave a comment or question below for us or you can submit a question privately here: Ask #staymarried. We may even answer your question in an upcoming episode.

And, of course, keep in touch with us on the socials: TwitterFacebook, and Instagram. I’d love to connect on any of your favorite platforms. We can’t wait to hear from you!


Tony and Michelle Peterson 2017The #staymarried blog was created to offer hope, stories, and resources for couples who want to stay married.

If you’re NEW HERE, check out our About Page and read a little more about my own background on our first post.

Thank you for reading, sharing, and being a part of this #staymarried community!

~ Michelle

 

S3 E16 | The Joys and Challenges in a Muslim Marriage

The Joys and Challenges in a Muslim Marriage - #staymarriedOnce upon a time I noticed that #staymarried had a growing Muslim audience. Knowing basically nothing about the Muslim faith or culture, and wanting not to squander an opportunity to learn to help more peole have happy and healthy marriages, I set out on a quest to learn.

That quest led me to today’s guest, Menahal Begawala. “Mena” is a Gottman Certified Therapist practicing in New York. She is also the co-athor of the Islamic Reference Guide for the Gottman Method.

We learned so much from her, not just about marriage withing the Muslim community, but about the basic tennents of what makes any marriage strong enough to go the distance.

Enjoy!

Listen to “S3 Ep16: The Joys and Challenges in a Muslim Marriage” on Spreaker.

 

You can find out more about Menahal and her counseling practice at menahal.com

The Joys and Challenges in a Muslim Marriage - #staymarried

Feel free to leave a comment or question below for us or you can submit a question privately here: Ask #staymarried. We may even answer your question in an upcoming episode.

And, of course, keep in touch with us on the socials: TwitterFacebook, and Instagram. I’d love to connect on any of your favorite platforms. We can’t wait to hear from you!


Tony and Michelle Peterson 2017The #staymarried blog was created to offer hope, stories, and resources for couples who want to stay married.

If you’re NEW HERE, check out our About Page and read a little more about my own background on our first post.

Thank you for reading, sharing, and being a part of this #staymarried community!

~ Michelle

 

S3 E15 | Estranged: Healthy Ways to Navigate Tough Family Members

Estranged - Healthy Ways to Navigate Tough Family Members #staymarriedFamily relationships can be complicated. In this episode of The #staymarried Podcast we answer a question from Ask #staymarried:

“Hey there Tony and Michelle,
My name is Tony also and my wife and I have been married for 8 years. Our marriage is strong and I have to say that listening to your podcasts is refreshing because of your candor and transparency. Here’s something I haven’t heard you two talk about and was wondering if you would consider addressing… estranged relationships with your parents.

My wife’s family is far away and we don’t see them much, but my family is fairly close yet are not very involved in our lives. We have a little boy and an even littler girl, and I sometimes wonder if my parents even care. I think I’d like for our kids to have doting grandparents like our friends around us seem to have, but I’m not sure if this is realistic. Do you think this absence is going to hurt our family in the future? You guys seem happy… do you have grandparents you want to loan us?”

Mr. Tony, we wish we had grandparents to loan you. Instead, we’ll share how we navigate our own tough family members. We hope it helps…

Listen to “S3 Ep15: Estranged” on Spreaker.

Also, Tony asked me if there was a book I’ve read multiple times. I shared two, and he shared one of his own. Here are the links.

Michelle’s Rec’s

Them – by Joyce Carol Oates

Them - Joyce Carol Oates

The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work – by Dr. John Gottman

 

Tony’s Rec

The Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis

Feel free to leave a comment or question below for us or you can submit a question privately here: Ask #staymarried. We may even answer your question in an upcoming episode.

And, of course, keep in touch with us on the socials: TwitterFacebook, and Instagram. I’d love to connect on any of your favorite platforms. We can’t wait to hear from you!


Tony and Michelle Peterson 2017The #staymarried blog was created to offer hope, stories, and resources for couples who want to stay married.

If you’re NEW HERE, check out our About Page and read a little more about my own background on our first post.

Thank you for reading, sharing, and being a part of this #staymarried community!

~ Michelle

 

 

S3 E14 | Modern Kinship with David & Constantino

Modern Kinship - Figuring out Marriage as a Gay Christian Couple - #staymarriedIf you’ve been following along on this third season of The #staymarried Podcast, you know we have not only been sharing insights from relationship experts, but we have also sprinkled in stories of real married couples.

While there is much to learn from the research about what makes a marriage work, nothing truly takes the place of hearing from other couples as they navigate life and love on their own terms.

We are thrilled to share with you the love story and marriage insights from our friends David and Constantino Khalaf, a Gay Christian Couple living in Portland, Oregon. We hope you enjoy them as much as we have.

 

Listen to “S3 Ep14: Modern Kinship, Figuring out Marriage as a Gay Christian Couple” on Spreaker.

 

Here’s the Lookout Tower – Off the Grid and Forty Feet Up! – from Airbnb where Constantino proposed to David.

Lookout Tower on AirBnb - Modern Kinship on #staymarried

One of my favorite parts of this conversation happened at the end, when David shared that learning to love Constantino in the way he best received love, not necessarily the way that comes most naturally to David, was the real work of love. They may be newlyweds, but they’ve certainly figured out a few things.

Modern Kinship - Figuring out Marriage as a Gay Christian Couple - #staymarried

As we mentioned in the show, Constantino is the Director of Operations at the Gay Christian Network, an organization that works to build bridges between the LGBTQ Community and the church. You can find out more about this organization and ways you can get involved here.

You can find out more about David and Constantino’s life and love at their blog Modern Kinship and follow them on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. Feel free to leave a comment for them, or for us, below.

Modern Kinship - Figuring out Marriage as a Gay Christian Couple with David and Constantino Khalaf - #staymarried

Modern Kinship - Figuring out Marriage as a Gay Christian Couple - #staymarried

Wedding Photos by Lehua Noelle

Dave and Tino also had some kind things to say about The #staymarried Book.

Modern Kinship - Figuring out Marriage as a Gay Christian Couple - #staymarried

Buy the book

Feel free to leave a comment or question below for us or you can submit a question privately here: Ask #staymarried. We may even answer your question in an upcoming episode.

And, of course, keep in touch with us on the socials: TwitterFacebook, and Instagram. I’d love to connect on any of your favorite platforms. We can’t wait to hear from you!


Tony and Michelle Peterson 2017The #staymarried blog was created to offer hope, stories, and resources for couples who want to stay married.

If you’re NEW HERE, check out our About Page and read a little more about my own background on our first post.

Thank you for reading, sharing, and being a part of this #staymarried community!

~ Michelle

 

 

Ten Lessons from Ten Years of Marriage

10 Lessons from 10 Years of Marriage - #staymarriedTen years ago, I stood in front of a man I’d fallen in love with and committed to spend the rest of my days learning to create a life together. I was all aflutter that day, couldn’t imagine being happier, luckier, or more hopeful about the future. I had no idea!

Since then, Tony and I have sold all our belongings and moved across the country TWICE, and we’re about to do it again. We’ve brought three of the best people I know into the world, our sweet daughters. We’ve experienced the crushing pain of major depression and the gloriousness of healing and finding joy again.

We’ve learned more than a handful of things over these ten years. As I reflect back on this wild and wonderful life, I thought I’d share some of those lessons with you.

10 Lessons from 10 Years of Marriage

1. A little kindness goes a long way.

Being a grown-up comes with so many have-to’s. But, being kind to your partner isn’t one of them. You could bring them an unexpected cup of coffee. You could text them a sweet “thinking of you” message. You could rub their shoulders. You could offer them 15 guilt-free minutes without the kids around. Today, you and I get to figure out a way to show and tell the most important person in our lives that we love them. It’s not a “have-to,” it’s a “get-to.”

2. Our relationship with each other is more important than our relationship with our kids.

We love our kids like crazy, but we know the best thing we can do for them is to take care of each other first! We’re in the thick of it with 3 little ones but someday it’ll be just the two of us again and we need to make sure we’ve loved each other well all along so that we don’t feel like strangers when we become empty nesters. Plus, building a strong relationship with each other adds to a sense of security and confidence for our kids. It’s a win-WIN!

4 Ways to Handle Parenting Disagreements - #staymarried

3. Conflict is inevitable. Combat is optional.

Isn’t it great when you can learn lessons from OTHER PEOPLE’S experiences. Some wise friends told us early on that not every battle is worth fighting and that we would spend more time enjoying each other if we chose wisely. Keeping kindness in mind, even when we disagree and both feel passionately, has kept our conflicts mostly out of the battle zone.

4. Defensiveness gets you nowhere.

Because we know each other so well, we also know how to push each other’s buttons. We’ve learned that getting defensive doesn’t help. When we’re feeling defensive, it’s a good indication that we need a break and we need to find another way to listen and be heard.

How Being Defensive is Hurting Your Marriage - #staymarried

5. Dreaming together is a necessity, not a luxury.

We each have our own dreams and ideas of what we want to do with our lives, but we make it a priority to share our dreams with each other before we share them with other people. This gives us the opportunity to cheer each other on every step of the way. We’ve looked for ways to sacrifice for each other in order to help make our dreams a reality. We’ve learned that nothing at all will ever come to fruition if we’re both being selfish instead of supportive.Four Types of Supportive Behavior and how to Identify the One You Need - #staymarried

6. Curiosity is a relationship booster.

I’m not the same person I was when we first met and neither is he. Staying curious about each other, making time to ask good questions (like we do at the beginning of each episode of The #staymarried Podcast) and then really listening and learning keeps us engaged in our relationship instead of drifting away assuming we already know all there is to know.

7. Expectations without clear communication leads to conflict.

We have to be able to communicate what we want. I resisted this for along time, thinking it would be better and I would feel more loved if my husband figured out what I wanted on his own and then did it because he wanted to, not because I asked him to. The truth is, if I don’t ask, I don’t get, and that goes for everything from presents to help around the house to sex. Being brave and asking has made our lives so much better.

"Daring greatly means the courage to be vulnerable... Brene Brown quote on #staymarried

8. Even great marriages go through really crappy times.

We’ve had our share of rough seasons. There were times when I thought we would never see eye-to-eye, never find a solution, never get back to those first feelings of love. We’ve gotten through those seasons, but I’m sure they’ll come again. That doesn’t mean we need to call it quits. What we have together is fundamentally good, but that doesn’t mean it’ll always be easy.

9. You’re never justified for being a jerk.

The question is not whether or not you should argue with your spouse. The question is how will you argue? Will you be respectful while you argue, avoiding low-blows, name-calling, and ultimatums? Will you approach believing your partner is guilty before they’ve had a chance to explain themselves OR with the intention of giving your partner the benefit of the doubt? It’s okay to be angry. It’s never okay to be cruel.

10. Apologize and forgive often.

Sometimes you will be a jerk. Sometimes you won’t realize it until after the damage to your relationship has already been inflicted. As much as Tony and I value kindness and respect, neither of us will ever be perfect. Keeping a good rhythm of forgivness has carried us through some of our most challenging times.

7 Ways to Be a Better Forgiver - a #staymarried blog for couples

11. Marriages succeed in community and fail in isolation.

A great marriage starts with a solid friendship. But, even if your partner really is your best friend, your partner was never meant to fullfill all of your relational needs. Make every effort to spend time with your friends with or without your partner.  Making sure you’ve built and kept a close community of people is one of the best things you can do to ensure your marriage lasts to ten years and beyond.

10 Lessons from 10 Years of Marriage - #staymarried

Yes, I know I promised you ten lessons, and here I gave you eleven. But, let that remind you that a little extra effort and generosity are never wasted.

This tenth year of marriage has been a beautiful reminder that we couldn’t have come this far, we wouldn’t have made it to ten whole years, without our incredible community loving and supporting us every step of the way.

We’ve shared all of this with you over the years here on The #staymarried Blog and The #staymarried Podcast and have been received with such grace. Ten years have come and gone, there is much to celebrate, and still, it feels like we are just at the beginning. We’re grateful.

The #staymarried blog was created to offer hope, stories, and resources for couples who want to stay married.

Tony and Michelle Peterson 2017If you found this post helpful, we would be honored if you would share it. Our big dream is to see more and more people living in happy and healthy marriages!

Share this article on Facebook
Share this article on Twitter

Interested in more posts like this? You might like…
Does Marriage Really Have to be Hard Work? – #staymarried blog
♥ Your Baggage Doesn’t Have to Wreck Your Marriage – #staymarried Podcast

 

If you’re NEW HERE, check out our About Page and read a little more about my own background on our first post. You can also find us on the socials: PinterestTwitterFacebook, and Instagram. I’d love to connect on any of your favorite platforms.

Thank you ever so much for reading, sharing, and being a part of this #staymarried community!

~ Michelle

S3 E13 | What does your Relationship Reveal? with Sandra Fischer

What does your Relationship Reveal? - with Sandra Fischer on The #staymarried PodcastBeing a writer and podcaster that focuses on marriage has a TON of perks! For instance, when people think their relationship resources might benefit our #staymarried community, guess who they reach out to give it a whirl? ME! That’s who! And then, when it’s a good one, not only does my marriage benefit, but you know I’m going to share those resources with you!

Sandra Fischer, creator of the new card game Relationship Reveal, is a professional writer and consultant with a diverse background specializing in communications, people development and optimizing organizational effectiveness. With 25 years working for companies including Microsoft, Amazon and AT&T, her experiences have been unique and broad and she’s poured every bit of that into this fantastic resource.

Listen as we chat with Sandra about this unique game, and then hear from our friends Josh & Katy of Episode 12 fame as they share their experience with it, too.

Listen to “S3 Ep13: What does your Relationship Reveal? with Sandra Fischer” on Spreaker.

Did you listen? Don’t you want to try Relationship Reveal yourself? You can find out more about it and order your box here: Relationship Reveal.

 

Feel free to leave a comment or question below for us or you can submit a question privately here: Ask #staymarried. We may even answer your question in an upcoming episode.

And, of course, keep in touch with us on the socials: TwitterFacebook, and Instagram. I’d love to connect on any of your favorite platforms. We can’t wait to hear from you!


Tony and Michelle Peterson 2017The #staymarried blog was created to offer hope, stories, and resources for couples who want to stay married.

If you’re NEW HERE, check out our About Page and read a little more about my own background on our first post.

Thank you for reading, sharing, and being a part of this #staymarried community!

~ Michelle

 

 

S3 E11 | Unfaithful: The Little Things that Lead to Big Betrayal

Unfaithful - The Little Things That Lead To Big Betrayal - #staymarriedWhen people talk about unfaithfulness, they aren’t typically talking about the lack of small acts of faithfulness that make up a life together. They mean – and will interchangeably use the word – infidelity.

Nothing rocks a marriage like infidelity. But, infidelity is not typically where the problems start. Instead, it’s often the culmination of little betrayals over time.

In this episode we discuss the interplay between faithfulness, trustworthiness, and simple habits. It really is the little things that make such a big difference in a marriage. Enjoy!

 

Listen to “S3 Ep11: Unfaithful – The Little Things that Lead to Big Betrayal” on Spreaker.

We discussed an article on the science of habits. You can read more on that here.

Also, The #staymarried Book is now available everywhere!

#staymarried: A Couple's Devotional by Michelle Peterson

Buy the book

 

Feel free to leave a comment or question below for us or you can submit a question privately here: Ask #staymarried. We may even answer your question in an upcoming episode.

And, of course, keep in touch with us on the socials: TwitterFacebook, and Instagram. I’d love to connect on any of your favorite platforms. We can’t wait to hear from you!


Tony and Michelle Peterson 2017The #staymarried blog was created to offer hope, stories, and resources for couples who want to stay married.

If you’re NEW HERE, check out our About Page and read a little more about my own background on our first post.

Thank you for reading, sharing, and being a part of this #staymarried community!

~ Michelle

 

 

S3 E10 | Couple Checkup: Knowing Your Relationship Strengths

Couple Checkup - Knowing Your Relationship Strengths #staymarried

If the name “PREPARE/ENRICH” sounds familiar, it may be because it was recommended to you as a part of pre-marital counseling at some point.

PREPARE/ENRICH has a long history of supporting couples. It was founded in 1980 after years of research by Family Science pioneer Dr. David Olson. The Prepare/Enrich program was developed out of research done by Dr. Olson at the University of Minnesota. They are rooted and founded on research and highly value their scientifically valid assessment.

This is why we are so excited that they’ve decided to partner with us for the launch of The #staymarried Book. Tony and I took the assessment ourselves and learned so much and really believe Couple Checkup is a perfect partner to our Couple’s Devotional.

In this episode we share what we learned about our own relationship after taking the assessment. Enjoy!

 

Listen to “S3 Ep10: Couple Checkup – Knowing Your Relationship Strengths” on Spreaker.

We also talked about all of the other Pre-order Gifts we’ve been working on. If you order #staymarried: A Couple’s Devotional before May 23rd, you’ll get…

1. #staymarried Toolkit
10 Rules for Fighting Fair
The 2 Step Method to Learn and Practice Empathy Immediately
10 Ways to Think Like a Team (instead of treating each other like opponents)

2. Couple Checkup by Prepare Enrich
Get access to this personalized online assessment powered by over three decades of research, regularly $35, for just $14.95 with our exclusive discount code!

3. Unbox Love Date Box
Every pre-order will receive an exclusive discount code for $10 off your first date in a box delivered to your door.
+ A GIVEAWAY! 10 pre-orders will be randomly selected to win a custom date box for FREE!

4. Building Trust, Unlocking Intimacy
Access to a private Facebook Group where you’ll get to participate in an exclusive 5 Week Facebook Live Course with Tony and Michelle Peterson.

 

Ready to get these awesome gifts? All you have to do is forward your pre-order receipt to the following email address and we’ll send you everything. Send your receipt before May 23rd to: staymarried book at gmail dot com

Buy the book

An Interview with Author Michelle Peterson on The #staymarried Podcast

Feel free to leave a comment or question below for us or you can submit a question privately here: Ask #staymarried. We may even answer your question in an upcoming episode.

And, of course, keep in touch with us on the socials: TwitterFacebook, and Instagram. I’d love to connect on any of your favorite platforms. We can’t wait to hear from you!


Tony and Michelle Peterson 2017The #staymarried blog was created to offer hope, stories, and resources for couples who want to stay married.

If you’re NEW HERE, check out our About Page and read a little more about my own background on our first post.

Thank you for reading, sharing, and being a part of this #staymarried community!

~ Michelle