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Ten Lessons from Ten Years of Marriage

10 Lessons from 10 Years of Marriage - #staymarried

Ten years ago, I stood in front of a man I’d fallen in love with and committed to spend the rest of my days learning to create a life together. I was all aflutter that day, couldn’t imagine being happier, luckier, or more hopeful about the future. I had no idea! Since then, Tony and…


Is Your Marriage Dead? Or, Does it Just Appear That Way?

Is Your Marriage Dead - #staymarried

“Girls, look ahead! The mountain is out, you can see it…” This phrase, “the mountain is out,” is a very Pacific Northwest thing to say. Outside of the Seattle area, I’m not sure it would make much sense. But, for us locals, those four words beckon us to look up and notice a rare cloudless…


12 Awesome Marriage Resources That Aren’t Books

Reading is hard. I say that as someone who loves to read and loves to write. But reading IS hard, especially when we have so many things in our lives distracting us and making it tough to concentrate for very long on things like words on pages. While I worked on the manuscript for The…


What To Do When You Disagree About Parenting

4 Ways to Handle Parenting Disagreements - #staymarried

At last count, the internet has provided us with roughly eight million different parenting styles. You’ve probably noticed different parenting styles even among your own friends. Is it any wonder, with so many opinions and philosophies, that two people who share a home and children might also disagree on the best parenting approach? Marriage is…


15 Ways to Calm a Fight

15 Ways to Calm a Fight - #staymarried

Have you ever been in a fight that you knew was going nowhere? Have you ever been in a fight that you knew was going nowhere AND you wanted it to end, but couldn’t figure out how to stop bickering? The way a couple ends a fight says a lot about the quality of their…



Three Ways to Keep Your Hobbies and Your Marriage

3 Ways to Keep Your Hobbies and Your Marriage - #staymarried

You guys ask the best questions! There are things about our marriage that we think are humdrum… our pet names for each other (Goose and Chother), our go-to dinners (Spaghetti and Taco Bowls), where we keep the toaster (in the pantry like normal people). This is the stuff we both know and have taken for…


Six Conversations Every Couple Must Have

6 Conversations Every Couple Must Have - #staymarried

Is “Happily ever after…” even a thing? That’s the question that’s given me insomnia over the last three years. Sometimes I lose sleep for a week, tossing and turning going over the stats and stories of divorce over and over again in my mind. Is it possible for anyone to actually stay married? And, if…


Some Problems In Your Marriage Are Here To Stay

Some Problems In Your Marriage Are Here To Stay - #staymarried

Every couple has their perpetual problems. These are the problems that you fight and argue about, but nothing seems to change. You plead your case, you hear their side of it, you may even reach some kind of agreement or compromise, and then, before too long, you are arguing about it all over again. Perpetual.…


E is for Empathy in The Relationship Alphabet

The Relationship Alphabet by Zach Brittle on #staymarried

This guy wrote this book and you HAVE TO get it! The guy is Zach Brittle, a Certified Gottman Therapist, and I’ve been fan-girl following his work on the Gottman Relationship Blog for the past couple of years. The book… THE BOOK!… is The Relationship Alphabet: A Practical Guide to Better Connection for Couples. As…


Does Marriage Really Have To Be Hard Work?

Does Marriage Really Have To Be Hard Work? - #staymarried

Whenever we write or talk about boundaries that keep your marriage healthy, we hear a little bit of backlash. The overall sentiment is something like, “Why should I have to change? Why should I have to do things differently than I did when I wasn’t married? Shouldn’t my spouse accept me, flaws and all? Shouldn’t…


When Your Marriage Needs More Than a Date Night

When Your Marriage Needs More Than a Date Night - #staymarried

I’m going to go out on a limb here and make a sweeping-generalization-type-of-statement: No one wants to become simply roommates with their spouse. Right? Right. It’s trendy to talk about how we should still make time to “date” our spouses, but I think that should mean more than a date night once a month. Remember…


3 Things You Must Do When You’re Just Too Tired to Connect

3 Things You Must Do When You're Just Too Tired To Connect - #staymarried

I wonder sometimes if barriers toward intimacy cause as many divorces as fights and hostility do. What I mean is, I think intimacy is tough. It is hard to bare all in front of another person. It can be excruciating to let down our armor and really admit to how we feel, where we are…


71 Ways to Express Your Love When You’re Not Shakespeare

71 Ways to Express Your Love When You're Not Shakespeare - #staymarried

Everyone wants to hear that they are loved and admired. It’s love that inspired Journey’s “Faithfully” and Taylor Swift’s “Blank Space.” Love is at the center of Shakespeare’s sonnets, and Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice, and Nicholas Sparks’ The Notebook. “How do I love thee, let me count the ways,” wrote Elizabeth Barrett Browning, and…


3 Better Ways to Connect with Your Kids

Connection is Greater than Pefection - 3 Better Ways to Connect with you Kids - #staymarried

Parenting is the thing Tony and I fight about the most. We don’t fight about it because we have vastly different philosophies on parenting– for the most part, we agree on how we want to raise our girls. But the act of parenting is very different from the idea of it, and that’s where we…


10 Things I Wish I Knew Before I Got Divorced

10 Things I Wish I Knew Before I Got Divorced - #staymarried guest post by Lindsay Heller

When my husband and I were dating, we went to one of the most lavish weddings I can remember. It was before brides were pinning their dream days on Pinterest, and looking back, I’ll bet Pinterest probably sent a correspondent to this same wedding just to take a look at all of the details. The…




How to Share Your Spouse and #staymarried

How to Share Your Spouse - #staymarried

Relax… I do not mean “share” in the polyamorous sense of the word. That’s not my thing. Only two people in my bed, please… Unless we are adding our snuggly adorable children. Wait. No. I still prefer just my husband and I in my bed. Unless I can have my bed all to myself. What…


Hug it Out – 7 New Ways to Appreciate Physical Affection

Hug It Out - 7 New Ways to Appreciate Physical Affection - #staymarried

I noticed something recently. Tony is a hugger. I’m sure he would NEVER classify himself as a hugger, toucher, or affectionate type of person. But, he definitely IS a hugger… at least he is with me. It stands out recently, I think, because I haven’t been so affectionate. I’ve had a lot on my mind,…