Managing Money as a Team

S4 Ep9 of The #staymarried Podcast: Managing Money as a Team with Elle Martinez of Couple Money

Money matters are often listed in the top 5 reasons couples argue. But, what if something as intense as the topic of finances could instead bring us closer together? In this episode Tony and Michelle sit down with Elle Martinez of Couple Money to answer some listener questions, like this one…

Hey Michelle and Tony,

My husband and I have only been married for two years, and I guess we should have talked more about this before we got married, but I didn’t think it would be a problem. He works as a commercial electrician and I just finished my degree in early childhood education and am now looking for work. Now that I’m not a student anymore, I’m looking at a bunch of debt and I don’t have an income yet. My husband said he is willing to help me out of his income, but he is not interested in combining our bank accounts or our finances. He wants to keep everything separate.

Sometimes I feel like he is really generous to help me with all my debt, but I also think about my parents relationship and how they handled money so different than we do. They had a shared account and all the money they earned went into the one account. I guess my question is, do you guys think we are making it harder on ourselves by having separate accounts? Do you think there is an advantage to our marriage to having shared accounts, or is it better to keep it all separate?

Thanks for your help,
“Fannie Mae’s Favorite”

We hope you enjoy this conversation…

Elle is the author of Jumpstart Your Marriage and Your Money: A 4 Week Guide to Building Wealth Together. She is also the host of the Couple Money podcast where she regularly invites couples into greater understanding of their finances and the simple hacks that can help dump debt and build wealth. If you are an Email Friend, you should have already received Elle’s Free Money Toolkit she’s offered our community. If you’re not already on our email list, well, let’s go ahead and take care of that – Subscribe to #staymarried Emails – But, we’re not going to leave you hanging. Elle would still like to get this Free Money Toolkit into your hands. You can find out more here.

S4 Ep9 of The #staymarried Podcast: Managing Money as a Team with Elle Martinez of Couple Money

#staymarried After Hours – Financial Infidelity

We had so much to talk about with Elle that we weren’t able to fit it all into one episode. We continue the conversation over at our unlisted podcast, #staymarried After Hours, where we dug into the concept of financial infidelity. You can learn more about #staymarried After Hours and how you can support #staymarried through Patreon here.

 

We want to hear from you! Leave a comment or question below for us or you can submit a question privately here: Ask #staymarried. We may even answer your question in an upcoming episode. Oh! Don’t forget we have a new phone number, too 262.622.6638

And, of course, keep in touch with us on the socials: TwitterFacebook, and Instagram. I’d love to connect on any of your favorite platforms. We can’t wait to hear from you!


#staymarried was created to offer hope, stories, and resources for couples who want to stay married.

If you’re NEW HERE, check out our About Page and read a little more about my own background on our first post.

Thank you for reading, sharing, and being a part of this #staymarried community!

~ Michelle

 

S4 Ep9 of The #staymarried Podcast: Managing Money as a Team with Elle Martinez of Couple Money

 

 

 

 

 

We Are Black Love

S4 Ep8 of The #staymarried Podcast: We Are Black Love with Codie and Tommy Oliver

Tommy and Codie Oilver are the creators of Black Love, a docuseries on the Oprah Winfrey Network featuring married couples talking about what it takes to make love last.

Can you see how I might have taken an interest in their work?

Codie is the director and the couple produces together. The show debuted on OWN as the highest rated unscripted series in the network’s history and featured couples like Viola Davis & Julius Tennon, Tia Mowry and Cory Hardrict, Sterling K. Brown and Ryan Michelle Bathe, and Grant Hill and his wife Tamia.

Now, the reason I’m doing all of this name dropping is because, as you’ll hear in our interview with them, Tommy and Codie really won’t. But this intentionality they have with choosing their guests is significant to me because, what they’ve done by interviewing everyone from celebrities to non-celebrities is to show that nobody is above fights over dishes and laundry. They show clearly that there is no one perfect way to make a marriage work.

Enjoy!

 

S4 Ep8 of The #staymarried Podcast: We Are Black Love with Codie and Tommy Oliver

BlackLove.com is a digital destination for 360 degrees of Black Love from self love and dating to partnership and parenting.

Black Love, the series, can be found on OWN On Demand, Amazon, and the Urban Movie Channel streaming app. Season 3 airs in Spring/Summer 2019.

S4 Ep8 of The #staymarried Podcast: We Are Black Love with Codie and Tommy Oliver

#staymarried After Hours

Want to hear more from The Petersons? You can learn more about #staymarried After Hours and how you can support #staymarried through Patreon here.

S4 Ep8 of The #staymarried Podcast: We Are Black Love with Codie and Tommy Oliver S4 Ep8 of The #staymarried Podcast: We Are Black Love with Codie and Tommy Oliver S4 Ep8 of The #staymarried Podcast: We Are Black Love with Codie and Tommy Oliver S4 Ep8 of The #staymarried Podcast: We Are Black Love with Codie and Tommy Oliver

We want to hear from you! Leave a comment or question below for us or you can submit a question privately here: Ask #staymarried. We may even answer your question in an upcoming episode. Oh! Don’t forget we have a new phone number, too 262.622.6638

And, of course, keep in touch with us on the socials: TwitterFacebook, and Instagram. I’d love to connect on any of your favorite platforms. We can’t wait to hear from you!


#staymarried was created to offer hope, stories, and resources for couples who want to stay married.

If you’re NEW HERE, check out our About Page and read a little more about my own background on our first post.

Thank you for reading, sharing, and being a part of this #staymarried community!

~ Michelle

 

S4 Ep8 of The #staymarried Podcast: We Are Black Love with Codie and Tommy Oliver

 

 

 

 

 

Problems to Solve and Tensions to Manage

S4 Ep7 of The #staymarried Podcast - Problems to Solve and Tensions to Manage with Tony and Michelle Peterson

While we work on honing our communication skills and learning how to fight fair, it’s not always easy to know if what we’re dealing with is a problem that needs a soution or simply a tension that needs to be managed.

In this conversation, we tackle two of the most common marriage problems we hear about through Ask #staymarried. We’re answering not one, but TWO questions from listeners.

With the first question, we’ll address Laura and answer how to take criticism from your partner. Then we’ll answer a question from “Not into horses…” on how to navigate boundaries with the in-laws.

Enjoy!

 

 

S4 Ep7 of The #staymarried Podcast with Tony and Michelle Peterson

Season 3 Episode 7 of The #staymarried Podcast: Problems to Solve and Tensions to Manage

S4 Ep7 of The #staymarried Podcast with Tony and Michelle Peterson

 

#staymarried After Hours

Want to hear more from The Petersons? You can learn more about #staymarried After Hours and how you can support #staymarried through Patreon here.

We want to hear from you! Leave a comment or question below for us or you can submit a question privately here: Ask #staymarried. We may even answer your question in an upcoming episode. Oh! Don’t forget we have a new phone number, too 262.622.6638

And, of course, keep in touch with us on the socials: TwitterFacebook, and Instagram. I’d love to connect on any of your favorite platforms. We can’t wait to hear from you!


#staymarried was created to offer hope, stories, and resources for couples who want to stay married.

If you’re NEW HERE, check out our About Page and read a little more about my own background on our first post.

Thank you for reading, sharing, and being a part of this #staymarried community!

~ Michelle

 

 

S4 Ep7 of The #staymarried Podcast with Tony and Michelle Peterson

Adoption Changes Everything

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Adoption is a beautiful thing. It is a life-altering process, not only for the one who is adopted, but for an entire family and generations beyond. Adoption is beautiful and it changes everything.

We have walked with friends through different forms of adoption; international adoption, domestic adoption, infant-first-day-of-life adoption, and pre-teen adoption. With each family, we see adoption from a slightly different vantage point, but the truth is, we have never experienced this life changing event for ourselves. So, when our #staymarried community began to bring us more questions around how adoption impacts a marriage, we knew we had to reach out to people we know that have walked through it themselves.

In this interview, we talk with Jesse and Marisa Butterworth.

Marisa is the co-founder of Modern Mouse Design, a Disney concierge service where she and her co-founder Sweina take all the guess work and headaches out of planning your trip to Disneyland. They are Disney fanatics and have figured out some pretty genius ways to guarantee fun no matter how restricted your budget is or how little your kids are. They also highly advocate experiencing Disney WITHOUT the kids, so you might consider Modern Mouse Design for your next #staymarried getaway.

Modern Mouse Design on The #staymarried Podcast

 

Butterworth Family at Disneyland on The #staymarried Podcast

Jesse is the lead singer of the band The West Coast Feed. Honoring the collective legacies of Memphis, Muscle Shoals and New Orleans, The West Coast Feed – eight members strong — generates a modern and electrifying swagger rock/soul experience. They’ve been featured in Substream Magazine, Audio Fuzz, and many others. You can find them on Spotify. Their first full-length album releases THIS WEEK on October 26th. The band is on tour now and if you listen all the way to the end of the interview, we’ll even give you a taste of their sound with their song “You Belong To Me.”

The West Coast Feed on The #staymarried Podcast

 

THE STORY BEHIND “You Belong To Me”

“When we (Jesse & Marisa) first started the adoption process, we were told that it would be about 9 months before we could expect to bring our daughter home, but because all kinds of changing situations in Ethiopia, that timeline got stretched out to over 3 years. During those 3 years we went through a roller coaster of emotions, and a mountain of paperwork, but all the while we knew that it would be worth it when we were able to bring our little girl home to be a part of our family forever. And was it ever worth it. This is a picture of the very first time my wife got to hold our baby girl that we fought so hard to bring home. Our little family is complete now, and we are so grateful to the incredible people at All God’s Children International for helping us bring our daughter home, that we have been partnering with them for years to help bring orphan care to the 8 million children around the world who don’t have parents or family to care for them. In fact, a portion of everything that we make as a band goes to All God’s Children International so that we can keep making a positive difference in the lives of children around the world.” – Jesse Butterworth

Butterworth Family at Disneyland on The #staymarried Podcast

Please enjoy our conversation with Jesse and Marisa Butterworth…

In the episode, we mentioned a video the Butterworth’s made a few years ago to help others with akward conversations around adoption. Here’s that video…

 

 

#staymarried After Hours

Want to hear more from The Peterson’s? You can learn more about #staymarried After Hours and how you can support #staymarried through Patreon here.

We want to hear from you! Leave a comment or question below for us or you can submit a question privately here: Ask #staymarried. We may even answer your question in an upcoming episode. Oh! Don’t forget we have a new phone number, too 262.622.6638

And, of course, keep in touch with us on the socials: TwitterFacebook, and Instagram. I’d love to connect on any of your favorite platforms. We can’t wait to hear from you!


#staymarried was created to offer hope, stories, and resources for couples who want to stay married.

If you’re NEW HERE, check out our About Page and read a little more about my own background on our first post.

Thank you for reading, sharing, and being a part of this #staymarried community!

~ Michelle

 

 

InstagramStoriesGraphic_S4Ep6a

Church Shopping, or Nah?

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Whether or not you grew up in a culturally religious home, there is no denying that the way we think about spirituality as adults impacts the way we treat each other in our marriages.

While it’s not necessary to see eye-to-eye on every detail of your theology – what you think about God – it is important to have common ground. Yet, even when two people share their faith, they may not agree on how that faith works out when it comes to attending religious services or going to church as a family.

In this episode, we unpack a question from Rachel submitted to Ask #staymarried. She’s concerned that her husband Shawn, who once attended church with her regularly, would now prefer to spend his Sundays hunting and fishing. She asked us if we have advice on how to “get him to come to church” with her. We address that, as well as our own perspective on our current “church shopping” journey.

Enjoy!

I mentioned Church Clarity as one helpful resource if you happen to be on your own “church shopping” journey. You can learn more about them here… And, we agree with them; Clarity is reasonable.

Church Shopping, or Nah? Church Clarity is Reasonable

 

 

#staymarried After Hours

Want to hear more from The Peterson’s? You can learn more about #staymarried After Hours and how you can support #staymarried through Patreon here.

 

We want to hear from you! Leave a comment or question below for us or you can submit a question privately here: Ask #staymarried. We may even answer your question in an upcoming episode. Oh! Don’t forget we have a new phone number, too 262.622.6638

And, of course, keep in touch with us on the socials: TwitterFacebook, and Instagram. I’d love to connect on any of your favorite platforms. We can’t wait to hear from you!


#staymarried was created to offer hope, stories, and resources for couples who want to stay married.

If you’re NEW HERE, check out our About Page and read a little more about my own background on our first post.

Thank you for reading, sharing, and being a part of this #staymarried community!

~ Michelle

 

 

InstagramStoriesGraphic_S4Ep5a

Grieving with Hope After Miscarriage and Loss

Grieving with Hope After Miscarriage and Loss with Ryan and Adriel Booker on The #staymarried Podcast

“I used to think miscarriage and infant loss were women’s issues,” Adriel told us. “But, after going through this with my own husband, I see that these things impact both men and women, and your entire family and community.”

On October 25, 1988, then President Ronald Reagan dedicated the entire month of October as Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month (P.A.I.L.). We’ve since learned that roughly 1 in 4 women will or have experienced a miscarraige in their lifetime. As high as that statistic is, and with an international awareness campaign picking up steam since the 80’s, it is still uncommon to hear real stories of what this experience does to a family.

Ryan and Adriel Booker generously share their experience with grief and loss and also hope. After experiencing 3 miscarriages, they reflect on their journey and share much wisdom for the rest of us. Whether you’ve experienced miscarriage and loss in your own life or not, statistically speaking you know someone who has and this episode will shine a light on what it’s really like and how to navigate these rough waters with your marriage intact.

About the Bookers

Ryan and Adriel Booker lead an urban YWAM ministry together in the heart of Sydney, Australia. They have three beautiful (loud, spirited, sensitive, hilarious) boys around their dinner table and three little ones in heaven. Their other “son” is Frankie the pup, who thinks he’s human. Grace Like Scarlett: Grieving with Hope After Miscarriage and Loss with Ryan and Adriel Booker on The #staymarried Podcast
Adriel sometimes wonders how she got completely buried in boys but is thankful they have Coco the kitty to help balance out all the man power in the place. (She only wishes Coco wasn’t so afraid of all the boys. Where’s the #girlpower?) In their spare time, Ryan likes to create things Adriel can’t find space for in the house, and Adriel likes to rearrange furniture at convenient times like 10:00pm on Tuesday night.

Adriel is the author of Grace Like Scarlett: Grieving with Hope after Miscarriage and Loss and together Ryan and Adriel have a passion to see God’s goodness known among the earth through whatever opportunities they’re given.

Please enjoy our conversation with Ryan and Adriel.

 

Journaling Our Scarlett Stories

Seeing the healing power of sharing her own stories and also reading countless other men and women share their stories, Adriel has generously created a guide for those processing their own grief after miscarriage and loss. You can access that free resource here.

Grieving with Hope After Miscarriage and Loss with Ryan and Adriel Booker on The #staymarried Podcast

Grieving with Hope After Miscarriage and Loss with Ryan and Adriel Booker on The #staymarried Podcast

 

Grieving with Hope After Miscarriage and Loss with Ryan and Adriel Booker on The #staymarried Podcast

Grieving with Hope After Miscarriage and Loss with Ryan and Adriel Booker on The #staymarried Podcast

Grieving with Hope After Miscarriage and Loss with Ryan and Adriel Booker on The #staymarried Podcast

Grieving with Hope After Miscarriage and Loss with Ryan and Adriel Booker on The #staymarried Podcast

 

Grieving with Hope After Miscarriage and Loss with Ryan and Adriel Booker on The #staymarried Podcast

 

Grieving with Hope After Miscarriage and Loss with Ryan and Adriel Booker on The #staymarried Podcast

 

#staymarried After Hours

For the sake of time, we needed to cut our conversation with the Bookers a little short on this interview, but we continued it on our new side-show #staymarried After Hours. There, Ryan and Adriel shared more about how they worked to keep their marriage intact during this grieving process as well as how they included their young children in their mourning. You can learn more about #staymarried After Hours and how you can support #staymarried through Patreon here.

Grieving with Hope After Miscarriage and Loss with Ryan and Adriel Booker on The #staymarried Podcast

We want to hear from you! Leave a comment or question below for us or you can submit a question privately here: Ask #staymarried. We may even answer your question in an upcoming episode. Oh! Don’t forget we have a new phone number, too 262.622.6638

And, of course, keep in touch with us on the socials: TwitterFacebook, and Instagram. I’d love to connect on any of your favorite platforms. We can’t wait to hear from you!

Want to get your hands on this sweet new #staymarried Snapback? Find it here.


#staymarried was created to offer hope, stories, and resources for couples who want to stay married.

If you’re NEW HERE, check out our About Page and read a little more about my own background on our first post.

Thank you for reading, sharing, and being a part of this #staymarried community!

~ Michelle

 

 

Grieving with Hope After Miscarriage and Loss with Ryan and Adriel Booker on The #staymarried Podcast

Unemployment and the Basic Needs of a Marriage

S4 Ep3 of The #staymarried Podcast with Tony and Michelle Peterson

It’s tough to work on your relationship when your basic needs are threatened. It’s tough to be kind, respectful, and gracious toward those around you when you don’t know where your next meal is coming from or if you might not have a place to live. Losing your job, your home, or your business unexpectedly can be one of the greatest strains a relationship can endure.

In this episode I share, that ever since we both lost our jobs, I’ve been thinking about what that strain is doing to our marriage. Using Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs as a lense, we explore together what this season of unemployment has taught us about the true value of investing in our own relationship. We also share the practical tools we’re using to make sure we’re still on the same team.

Enjoy!

“It is quite true that man lives by bread alone — when there is no bread. But what happens to man’s desires when there is plenty of bread and when his belly is chronically filled?

At once other (and “higher”) needs emerge and these, rather than physiological hungers, dominate the organism. And when these in turn are satisfied, again new (and still “higher”) needs emerge and so on. This is what we mean by saying that the basic human needs are organized into a hierarchy of relative prepotency” (Maslow, 1943, p. 375).

It’s important to know that Maslow’s theory evolved over time, the needs expanded and descriptions became more detailed and granular. But, for the purposes of our conversation together, Tony and I only focused on the original five stages.

Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs of The #staymarried Podcast with Tony and Michelle Peterson

I also mentioned the following book by Eli J. Finkel. In The All-or-Nothing Marriage, this author also explores how Maslow’s concept of the hierarchy of needs relates to marriage. Worth a look if you’re on the hunt for your next marriage resource.

The All-or-Nothing Marriage by Eli J. Finkel #staymarried Podcast with Tony and Michelle Peterson

#staymarried is now on Patreon

We have BIG DREAMS to see #staymarried become self-supporting so we can expand and develop new resources to help couples with their own goals to #staymarried. One of the resources I’d love to offer is transcripts of past episodes. We know our blog posts are translated into many languages because of the magic of the internet, and we’d love to make our show more accessible, too.

Patreon has been a fun way for us to interact with listeners that want to see these big dreams become a reality. We’ve got a secret/unlisted podcast called #staymarried After Hours where we continue the conversation from our regular show and share even a few more behind the scenes insights. You can learn more about how to support #staymarried through Patreon for as little as $1 per month here.

 

We want to hear from you! Tony opened the show by asking me a critical question: What is my zombie apocalypse weapon of choice? Did you and your partner answer the question? Would we all be zombie warriors together, or did you choose a weapon that’s definitely going to get us all killed? Share in the comments.

We would also like to know what would you like us to cover this season. Leave a comment or question below for us or you can submit a question privately here: Ask #staymarried. We may even answer your question in an upcoming episode. Oh! Don’t forget we have a new phone number, too 262.622.6638

And, of course, keep in touch with us on the socials: TwitterFacebook, and Instagram. I’d love to connect on any of your favorite platforms. We can’t wait to hear from you!

Want to get your hands on this sweet new #staymarried Snapback? Find it here.


#staymarried was created to offer hope, stories, and resources for couples who want to stay married.

If you’re NEW HERE, check out our About Page and read a little more about my own background on our first post.

Thank you for reading, sharing, and being a part of this #staymarried community!

~ Michelle

 

 

S4 Ep3 of The #staymarried Podcast with Tony and Michelle Peterson

A Devotional Journey

S4 Ep2 of The #staymarried Podcast with Tony and Michelle Peterson and Brian and Ochelle Drysdale“I promise, Ochelle, he’s not a serial killer. What’s the worst that can happen? You’ll get a free meal out of the date…”

Those were the words that convinced Ochelle to make a date with a man she’d never met, O’Brian.

Brian, as he’s known by his friends, is a former Marine turned fitness manager and Ochelle is a software engineer. They live in Brooklyn where they both keep busy giving back to the community; Brian hosts a fitness boot camp and Ochelle directs the church choir and teaches kids to code through programs like Girls who Code and Allstar Code.

They also give back on Instagram where they can be found @OluvesO sharing videos of the real and raw coversations they’re having as they read through #staymarried: A Couple’s Devotional. As an author, I was intrigued to hear the unique ways they apply this book to their lives and how it’s not only made an impact on their marriage, but on their relationships with their family and friends.

We hope you enjoy our conversation with OluvesO…

 

S4 Ep2 of The #staymarried Podcast with Tony and Michelle Peterson and Brian and Ochelle Drysdale

S4 Ep2 of The #staymarried Podcast with Tony and Michelle Peterson and Brian and Ochelle Drysdale

S4 Ep2 of The #staymarried Podcast with Tony and Michelle Peterson and Brian and Ochelle Drysdale

#staymarried is now on Patreon

You can learn more about how to support #staymarried through Patreon for as little as $1 per month here.

The #staymarried Book

#staymarried: A Couple's Devotional by Michelle PetersonThe #staymaried Book is a 52 Week Couples Devotional, each chapter exploring how our faith works together with our everyday lives and with relationship research to give a fuller picture of how we can create a marriage that doesn’t simply last, but fulfills our lives and helps us pursue our dreams. Find out more about the book here.

 

We want to hear from you! Did you answer the question from the episode? What would you like us to cover this season? Leave a comment or question below for us or you can submit a question privately here: Ask #staymarried. We may even answer your question in an upcoming episode. Oh! Don’t forget we have a new phone number, too 262.622.6638

And, of course, keep in touch with us on the socials: TwitterFacebook, and Instagram. I’d love to connect on any of your favorite platforms. We can’t wait to hear from you!

Want to get your hands on this sweet new #staymarried Snapback? Find it here.


#staymarried was created to offer hope, stories, and resources for couples who want to stay married.

If you’re NEW HERE, check out our About Page and read a little more about my own background on our first post.

Thank you for reading, sharing, and being a part of this #staymarried community!

~ Michelle

 

 

S4 Ep2 of The #staymarried Podcast with Tony and Michelle Peterson and Brian and Ochelle Drysdale

New & Improved

S4 Ep1 of The #staymarried Podcast with Tony and Michelle PetersonA lot can happen in a year. Some years of our marriage have felt like imprints of the years before, but not this year. This year had more twists and turns, highs and lows, wins and losses, than any of our previous 11 years together. Whew! We are still trying to catch our breath from this whirlwind and we know we are far from settled just yet. But, that’s not stopping us…

We are thrilled to be back with Season 4 of The #staymarried Podcast. We’ve missed you, your questions and emails. We’ve often wished we could hear your voices, so… NOW WE CAN!

Call Us! 262.622.6638

One of the fun features that makes us NEW & IMPROVED is a good old fashioned telephone. If you’d rather chat than type, you can now call us and leave us a short and sweet message. With your permission, we may even incorporate it into an episode on the show. Tony keeps saying he wants to be more “interactive” so, I sure hope you call because he recorded an outgoing message and everything. He thinks you’re gonna call…

#staymarried is now on Patreon

One of the challenges we faced over the break between Seasons 3 and 4 was cutting back on some outgoing expenses from our family budget. For the first time ever, we had to consider NOT funding #staymarried ourselves (hosting and other blogging and podcasting related expenses add up). That meant we were either done for the time being, or we bring in advertisers and Tony dies a little inside, OR we toss it out to you fine people and see if any of you would like to help us make #staymarried fully listener-supported.

To thank our Patrons we’ve decided to host ANOTHER PODCAST! I know, that’s ridiculous. But, Tony talked me into it and so far he’s doing the majority of the work so right now it still feels like a good idea. This new podcast, #staymarried After Hours, takes all the thoughts and trimmings from interviews and our own private conversations and picks them up off the cutting room floor, carefully stitches them together, and delivers them to you. As a Patron, you will get to help shape the format and content of this unlisted podcast, so we can’t wait to see what you come up with. You can learn more about how to support #staymarried through Patreon for as little as $1 per month here.

 

 

We want to hear from you! Did you answer the question from the episode? What would you like us to cover this season? Leave a comment or question below for us or you can submit a question privately here: Ask #staymarried. We may even answer your question in an upcoming episode. Oh! Don’t forget we have a new phone number, too 262.622.6638

And, of course, keep in touch with us on the socials: TwitterFacebook, and Instagram. I’d love to connect on any of your favorite platforms. We can’t wait to hear from you!

Want to get your hands on this sweet new #staymarried Snapback? Find it here.


#staymarried was created to offer hope, stories, and resources for couples who want to stay married.

If you’re NEW HERE, check out our About Page and read a little more about my own background on our first post.

Thank you for reading, sharing, and being a part of this #staymarried community!

~ Michelle

 

 

S4 Ep1 of The #staymarried Podcast with Tony and Michelle Peterson

S3 E23 | Marriage is Not a Product. It’s an Investment.

Marriage is an InvestmentWe live in a consumer culture, and it’s easy to fall into the mentality that your marriage is a product that either works for you or it fails you.

But, the truth is, marriage is not a prodcut. It’s an investment. It requires a little work all the time in order to thrive.

In this episode of The #staymarried Podcast, we address one listener’s email about how #staymarried has failed his marriage…

 

Enjoy!

 

Listen to “S3 E23: Marriage is Not a Product. It’s an Investment.” on Spreaker.

 

 

Feel free to leave a comment or question below for us or you can submit a question privately here: Ask #staymarried. We may even answer your question in an upcoming episode.

And, of course, keep in touch with us on the socials: TwitterFacebook, and Instagram. I’d love to connect on any of your favorite platforms. We can’t wait to hear from you!


Tony and Michelle Peterson 2017The #staymarried blog was created to offer hope, stories, and resources for couples who want to stay married.

If you’re NEW HERE, check out our About Page and read a little more about my own background on our first post.

Thank you for reading, sharing, and being a part of this #staymarried community!

~ Michelle

 

S3 E22 | How You Show Up Under Pressure Matters

staymarried_S3Ep22_RobM_Image1In this episode we talk with our good friend Dr. Rob McKenna and he shares with us his insights on whole leadership development. His studies of how we each show up under pressure can effect our professional lives as well as our relationships with each other.

Enjoy!

 

Listen to “S3 Ep22: How You Show Up Under Pressure Matters” on Spreaker.

We’re looking forward to Dr. McKenna’s upcoming book: Composed – The Heart and Science of Leading Under Pressure. You can find out more here.

Composed - The Heart and Science of Leading Under Pressure Dr. Rob McKenna

Feel free to leave a comment or question below for us or you can submit a question privately here: Ask #staymarried. We may even answer your question in an upcoming episode.

And, of course, keep in touch with us on the socials: TwitterFacebook, and Instagram. I’d love to connect on any of your favorite platforms. We can’t wait to hear from you!


Tony and Michelle Peterson 2017The #staymarried blog was created to offer hope, stories, and resources for couples who want to stay married.

If you’re NEW HERE, check out our About Page and read a little more about my own background on our first post.

Thank you for reading, sharing, and being a part of this #staymarried community!

~ Michelle

 

S3 E21 | A Peek Inside a Therapist’s Marriage with Zach and Rebecca Brittle

S3 Ep21 - Watching for Sparks, with Zach and Rebecca Brittle“People seldom improve when they have no other model but themselves to copy.”

That idea, attributed to Oliver Goldsmith, reminds me that having friends with healthy marriages is a great way to keep my own marriage strong and healthy.

That’s one of the reasons we interview couples like Zach and Rebecca Brittle. You may remember Zach Brittle from Season 2, Episode 4 when he shared his perspective as a Marriage and Family Therapist about how we can find romance in our everyday interactions with each other.

In Season 3, we’ve been more focused on sharing stories of real married couples and I really wanted to hear from his wife! Tony and I had spent some time with Zach and Rebecca a few months ago, and they were so full of hope and practicality, that we decided to invite them over again and this time we put microphones in front of their faces.
S3 Ep21 - Watching for Sparks, with Zach and Rebecca Brittle

Zach often jokes that he and Rebecca have been happily married for 19 out of 20 years. Well, in this interview, Tony didn’t let him get away with this joke. I’m so glad Tony asked some bold questions and so thankful that Zach and Rebecca were willing to share about the hardest seasons in their 20 year marriage along with some hope and insights for those of us who have yet to cross that incredible milestone.

Enjoy!

 

Listen to “S3 Ep21: A Peek Inside a Therapist’s Marriage with Zach and Rebecca Brittle” on Spreaker.

 

Not only is Zach Brittle a pro, he is also super generous.
Zach’s offering our #staymarried community this fantastic resource for FREE.
Click here to get 20 Questions for Deeper Connection.

Every person who downloads this free gift will also be entered to win lifetime access to Zach’s online marriage course: Marriage in Motion.
Normally this course costs at least $397, but one of you is getting access for FREE! Can you tell I’m a little excited for you?

20 Questions for Deeper Connection by Zach Brittle

Download 20 Questions

 

S3 Ep21 - Watching for Sparks, with Zach and Rebecca Brittle

Feel free to leave a comment or question below for us or you can submit a question privately here: Ask #staymarried. We may even answer your question in an upcoming episode.

And, of course, keep in touch with us on the socials: TwitterFacebook, and Instagram. I’d love to connect on any of your favorite platforms. We can’t wait to hear from you!


Tony and Michelle Peterson 2017The #staymarried blog was created to offer hope, stories, and resources for couples who want to stay married.

If you’re NEW HERE, check out our About Page and read a little more about my own background on our first post.

Thank you for reading, sharing, and being a part of this #staymarried community!

~ Michelle

 

S3 E20 | The Positive Perspective

A Positive Perspective Could Make All The Difference #staymarriedIt’s natural to feel the impact of negative interactions more intensely than the positive ones. But, if we want to enjoy our marriages for decades to come, we need to learn the practice and benefits of developing a positive perspective.

In this episode we break down what we’ve learned from Dr. John Gottman and others about this essential marriage ingredient.

 

Enjoy!

 

Listen to “S3 E20: The Positive Perspective” on Spreaker.

 

For more about the Positive Perspective, check out this article on The Gottman Blog by Zach Brittle:

The Positive Perspective

Feel free to leave a comment or question below for us or you can submit a question privately here: Ask #staymarried. We may even answer your question in an upcoming episode.

And, of course, keep in touch with us on the socials: TwitterFacebook, and Instagram. I’d love to connect on any of your favorite platforms. We can’t wait to hear from you!


Tony and Michelle Peterson 2017The #staymarried blog was created to offer hope, stories, and resources for couples who want to stay married.

If you’re NEW HERE, check out our About Page and read a little more about my own background on our first post.

Thank you for reading, sharing, and being a part of this #staymarried community!

~ Michelle

 

S3 E19 | Sex is Complicated

SexIsComplicated1She’s back! Dr. Tina Schermer Sellers is back to answer some tough questions about sex and the way the conservative church has placed undue pressure on a confused generation.

In her new book, Sex, God and the Conservative Church: Erasing Shame from Sexual Intimacy, sex therapist and internationally recognized expert in religious sexual shame, Tina Schermer Sellers, PhD, gives us the tools and cultural competence to begin to find healing for the sexual shame holding us back from living fully into both our spiritual and sexual vitality.

We hope you enjoy this interview…

Listen to “S3 E19: Sex is Complicated” on Spreaker.

Sex, God, and The Conservative Church with Dr. Tina Schermer Sellers on The #staymarried Podcast

S3 E18 | Good Listeners Make Great Lovers

In this episode we tackle another Ask #staymarried question. Are you doomed if you and your partner don’t see eye-to-eye… or doomed if your interests don’t align? This weeks question brings up the topic of misaligned interests.

If you’re ‘checking out’ when your partner tries to share their interest, you’re missing a huge opportunity to show love. So we’re talking about listening well, as well as provide a few easy tips on how to be a better and more loving listener.

Listen to “S3 E18: Good Listeners Make Great Lovers” on Spreaker.

 

The Characteristics of a Good Listener

A good listener is…
1. Patient
2. Reflective
3. Curious
4. Keeps the conversation about the other person
5. Not the devils advocate
6. Gives positive feedback

If after listening to today’s podcast you’d like to join Tony in his nerd-dom, The Adventure Zone podcast can be found here.

The Big Bang Theory also tackled this topic…

 The #staymarried blog was created to offer hope, stories, and resources for couples who want to stay married.
Feel free to leave a comment or question below for us or you can submit a question privately here: Ask #staymarried. We may even answer your question in an upcoming episode.

And, of course, keep in touch with us on the socials: TwitterFacebook, and Instagram. I’d love to connect on any of your favorite platforms. We can’t wait to hear from you!


Tony and Michelle Peterson 2017The #staymarried blog was created to offer hope, stories, and resources for couples who want to stay married.

If you’re NEW HERE, check out our About Page and read a little more about my own background on our first post.

Thank you for reading, sharing, and being a part of this #staymarried community!

~ Michelle

 

S3 E17 | The Problem with Your Soulmate

The Problem with Your Soulmate - #staymarriedMany of us imagine that marriage should come naturally… if we’re with the right person. So, if it’s difficult, we figure it might be because we are with the wrong person. We see this theme a lot when we look through the questions you’ve submitted at Ask #staymarried.

Today we are reaching back to the archives from Season 2 of The #staymarried Podcast when Tony and I answered Nikki’s question, “How do I know if we’re meant to be together or if it’s for the best if we go our separate ways?”

Enjoy!

 

Listen to “S3 E17: The Problem with Your Soulmate” on Spreaker.

The problem with the soul mate mentality is that none of us really are the right person for anyone else. We each come into our marriages with our own set of weird habits, temper triggers, and childhood traumas. Even great marriages, where two people are as compatible as any two people ever could be, still require work. Marriage becomes a journey, not only to discover more about the person we’ve committed our lives to, but also to discover ourselves.The Problem with Your Soulmate - #staymarried

We would love to know what you think of soul mates! How do you approach this idea in your own marriage? Have you been in Nikky’s shoes, wondering whether or not you married the right one? Comment below and let us know if you have any insight or words of wisdom for us or for Nikky. One thing we know for sure is that we’re all just trying to figure this marriage thing out and find out if it’s possible to #staymarried.

The Problem with Your Soulmate - #staymarried

Want to read more about this topic? Check these out…

Does Marriage Really Have to Be Hard Work?
♥ Six Conversations Every Couple Must Have

 The #staymarried blog was created to offer hope, stories, and resources for couples who want to stay married.
Feel free to leave a comment or question below for us or you can submit a question privately here: Ask #staymarried. We may even answer your question in an upcoming episode.

And, of course, keep in touch with us on the socials: TwitterFacebook, and Instagram. I’d love to connect on any of your favorite platforms. We can’t wait to hear from you!


Tony and Michelle Peterson 2017The #staymarried blog was created to offer hope, stories, and resources for couples who want to stay married.

If you’re NEW HERE, check out our About Page and read a little more about my own background on our first post.

Thank you for reading, sharing, and being a part of this #staymarried community!

~ Michelle

 

S3 E16 | The Joys and Challenges in a Muslim Marriage

The Joys and Challenges in a Muslim Marriage - #staymarriedOnce upon a time I noticed that #staymarried had a growing Muslim audience. Knowing basically nothing about the Muslim faith or culture, and wanting not to squander an opportunity to learn to help more peole have happy and healthy marriages, I set out on a quest to learn.

That quest led me to today’s guest, Menahal Begawala. “Mena” is a Gottman Certified Therapist practicing in New York. She is also the co-athor of the Islamic Reference Guide for the Gottman Method.

We learned so much from her, not just about marriage withing the Muslim community, but about the basic tennents of what makes any marriage strong enough to go the distance.

Enjoy!

Listen to “S3 Ep16: The Joys and Challenges in a Muslim Marriage” on Spreaker.

 

You can find out more about Menahal and her counseling practice at menahal.com

The Joys and Challenges in a Muslim Marriage - #staymarried

Feel free to leave a comment or question below for us or you can submit a question privately here: Ask #staymarried. We may even answer your question in an upcoming episode.

And, of course, keep in touch with us on the socials: TwitterFacebook, and Instagram. I’d love to connect on any of your favorite platforms. We can’t wait to hear from you!


Tony and Michelle Peterson 2017The #staymarried blog was created to offer hope, stories, and resources for couples who want to stay married.

If you’re NEW HERE, check out our About Page and read a little more about my own background on our first post.

Thank you for reading, sharing, and being a part of this #staymarried community!

~ Michelle

 

S3 E15 | Estranged: Healthy Ways to Navigate Tough Family Members

Estranged - Healthy Ways to Navigate Tough Family Members #staymarriedFamily relationships can be complicated. In this episode of The #staymarried Podcast we answer a question from Ask #staymarried:

“Hey there Tony and Michelle,
My name is Tony also and my wife and I have been married for 8 years. Our marriage is strong and I have to say that listening to your podcasts is refreshing because of your candor and transparency. Here’s something I haven’t heard you two talk about and was wondering if you would consider addressing… estranged relationships with your parents.

My wife’s family is far away and we don’t see them much, but my family is fairly close yet are not very involved in our lives. We have a little boy and an even littler girl, and I sometimes wonder if my parents even care. I think I’d like for our kids to have doting grandparents like our friends around us seem to have, but I’m not sure if this is realistic. Do you think this absence is going to hurt our family in the future? You guys seem happy… do you have grandparents you want to loan us?”

Mr. Tony, we wish we had grandparents to loan you. Instead, we’ll share how we navigate our own tough family members. We hope it helps…

Listen to “S3 Ep15: Estranged” on Spreaker.

Also, Tony asked me if there was a book I’ve read multiple times. I shared two, and he shared one of his own. Here are the links.

Michelle’s Rec’s

Them – by Joyce Carol Oates

Them - Joyce Carol Oates

The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work – by Dr. John Gottman

 

Tony’s Rec

The Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis

Feel free to leave a comment or question below for us or you can submit a question privately here: Ask #staymarried. We may even answer your question in an upcoming episode.

And, of course, keep in touch with us on the socials: TwitterFacebook, and Instagram. I’d love to connect on any of your favorite platforms. We can’t wait to hear from you!


Tony and Michelle Peterson 2017The #staymarried blog was created to offer hope, stories, and resources for couples who want to stay married.

If you’re NEW HERE, check out our About Page and read a little more about my own background on our first post.

Thank you for reading, sharing, and being a part of this #staymarried community!

~ Michelle

 

 

S3 E14 | Modern Kinship with David & Constantino

Modern Kinship - Figuring out Marriage as a Gay Christian Couple - #staymarriedIf you’ve been following along on this third season of The #staymarried Podcast, you know we have not only been sharing insights from relationship experts, but we have also sprinkled in stories of real married couples.

While there is much to learn from the research about what makes a marriage work, nothing truly takes the place of hearing from other couples as they navigate life and love on their own terms.

We are thrilled to share with you the love story and marriage insights from our friends David and Constantino Khalaf, a Gay Christian Couple living in Portland, Oregon. We hope you enjoy them as much as we have.

 

Listen to “S3 Ep14: Modern Kinship, Figuring out Marriage as a Gay Christian Couple” on Spreaker.

 

Here’s the Lookout Tower – Off the Grid and Forty Feet Up! – from Airbnb where Constantino proposed to David.

Lookout Tower on AirBnb - Modern Kinship on #staymarried

One of my favorite parts of this conversation happened at the end, when David shared that learning to love Constantino in the way he best received love, not necessarily the way that comes most naturally to David, was the real work of love. They may be newlyweds, but they’ve certainly figured out a few things.

Modern Kinship - Figuring out Marriage as a Gay Christian Couple - #staymarried

As we mentioned in the show, Constantino is the Director of Operations at the Gay Christian Network, an organization that works to build bridges between the LGBTQ Community and the church. You can find out more about this organization and ways you can get involved here.

You can find out more about David and Constantino’s life and love at their blog Modern Kinship and follow them on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. Feel free to leave a comment for them, or for us, below.

Modern Kinship - Figuring out Marriage as a Gay Christian Couple with David and Constantino Khalaf - #staymarried

Modern Kinship - Figuring out Marriage as a Gay Christian Couple - #staymarried

Wedding Photos by Lehua Noelle

Dave and Tino also had some kind things to say about The #staymarried Book.

Modern Kinship - Figuring out Marriage as a Gay Christian Couple - #staymarried

Buy the book

Feel free to leave a comment or question below for us or you can submit a question privately here: Ask #staymarried. We may even answer your question in an upcoming episode.

And, of course, keep in touch with us on the socials: TwitterFacebook, and Instagram. I’d love to connect on any of your favorite platforms. We can’t wait to hear from you!


Tony and Michelle Peterson 2017The #staymarried blog was created to offer hope, stories, and resources for couples who want to stay married.

If you’re NEW HERE, check out our About Page and read a little more about my own background on our first post.

Thank you for reading, sharing, and being a part of this #staymarried community!

~ Michelle

 

 

S3 E13 | What does your Relationship Reveal? with Sandra Fischer

What does your Relationship Reveal? - with Sandra Fischer on The #staymarried PodcastBeing a writer and podcaster that focuses on marriage has a TON of perks! For instance, when people think their relationship resources might benefit our #staymarried community, guess who they reach out to give it a whirl? ME! That’s who! And then, when it’s a good one, not only does my marriage benefit, but you know I’m going to share those resources with you!

Sandra Fischer, creator of the new card game Relationship Reveal, is a professional writer and consultant with a diverse background specializing in communications, people development and optimizing organizational effectiveness. With 25 years working for companies including Microsoft, Amazon and AT&T, her experiences have been unique and broad and she’s poured every bit of that into this fantastic resource.

Listen as we chat with Sandra about this unique game, and then hear from our friends Josh & Katy of Episode 12 fame as they share their experience with it, too.

Listen to “S3 Ep13: What does your Relationship Reveal? with Sandra Fischer” on Spreaker.

Did you listen? Don’t you want to try Relationship Reveal yourself? You can find out more about it and order your box here: Relationship Reveal.

 

Feel free to leave a comment or question below for us or you can submit a question privately here: Ask #staymarried. We may even answer your question in an upcoming episode.

And, of course, keep in touch with us on the socials: TwitterFacebook, and Instagram. I’d love to connect on any of your favorite platforms. We can’t wait to hear from you!


Tony and Michelle Peterson 2017The #staymarried blog was created to offer hope, stories, and resources for couples who want to stay married.

If you’re NEW HERE, check out our About Page and read a little more about my own background on our first post.

Thank you for reading, sharing, and being a part of this #staymarried community!

~ Michelle