I never really thought of myself as a “love note” kind of guy. Growing up I found my identity in the things I could do, or learn to do, and not so much in the things people told me I was. I didn’t have many dating relationships, and certainly less that were sprinkled with love notes as part of the arrangement. I’m not much of a talker. In fact, my close friends can tell you that I’m pretty silent most of the time. I would say I don’t give much in the way of verbal encouragement, and need very little of it in return.
Still, there was a period of time a few years ago when Michelle would write me notes. Handwritten cards she’d leave for me as she left the house in the morning. It meant everything to me. I felt so much love through those kind words she fashioned for me. I kept every single one.
This was during a time when I felt particularly empty. Not sad, necessarily… just blah and mundane. I was working from home, and Michelle worked out of the house. One time I can remember waking up and seeing an envelope on my nightstand with the words “Please read this before you get out of bed” written on the outside.
Another time the envelope was in the bathroom. A few days later, I found an envelope at my computer keyboard. And still another time I found one in my guitar case… always handwritten and always personal to me.
Every time I would open one up, I would learn something new about my wife. Something she had been thinking over, something she wanted to encourage me with, or something she wanted to apologize about. Michelle isn’t really a say-I’m-sorry kinda gal. So when I got these kinds of cards, it meant that she had been thinking about me. It meant that she felt something deeply enough to make it eternal and ink it onto some cardstock. It meant she wanted to gift something to me. It was something bigger than blue ink on some paper. She was giving me a piece of herself.
Michelle can tell you I’m not very mushy or sentimental, but something about these personal words written for and directed to me really showed me she cared about my day/week/month/year, and wanted to support me through whatever I was going through.
So this tip is for me as much as it is for you…
When you’re done reading this post, grab something to write on, use a pen, and write a note to your spouse. Even if you’ve never done it before, think it’d be cheesy, or don’t know what to write about… it’s not about you. Think about one thing you like about your spouse and tell them about it.
To make it even easier for you, we’ve made some love note cards that you can just print off and write on the back (you’re welcome). Or, take a look at the image here, steal the idea, and make your own. One that we brainstormed about but didn’t end up designing was “You’re my favorite. Take off your <drawing of pants>.” So take that one, doodle it out, and see if it works.
If you haven’t gotten yours yet, they’re free… all you have to do is subscribe to the #staymarried blog and a confirmation email will be sent to you along with a download link. It’s time to invest in your marriage, and who can beat an investment that costs $0.00?
You are reading Day 4 in our 31 Days of Loving on Purpose series.
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