Porn vs You

If you read “Is Porn a Problem?,” our recent post in collaboration with Craig Gross, then you know by now that Tony and I do believe pornography is a problem and has caused issues in many marriages. It would be naive of us not to acknowledge that there are those of you out there who do not believe it to be a problem, those who may even indulge individually or as a couple. We have no intention of arguing about it. We simply want to bring to light anything that could be harmful and divisive in our pursuits to stay married. As a couple, we have decided to take an offensive stance toward anything that could threaten our marriage instead of a passive position- shrugging our shoulders, later wondering how we got so far away from where we wanted our marriage to be.

We believe transparency – with each other, with our friends, and on this blog – is a crucial element in guarding our marriage. So, now that we’ve pushed past the embarrassment and really talked openly about the problems posed by pornography, we want to leave you with some resources and possible next steps. We’ll start by sharing some of the startling information we’ve learned about this industry.

Porn vs You Infographic- Stats on Pornography plus a giveaway on the #staymarried blog

Is porn a problem for you?

Take this FREE online assessment – The Sexual Addiction Screening Test – which was developed in cooperation with hospitals, treatment programs, private therapists, and community groups. The SAST provides a profile of responses which help to discriminate between addictive and non-addictive behavior.

Take the SAST NOW

Guard Your Technology

Are you cool with people looking over your shoulder while you’re surfing the internet? Would you be embarrassed if your mom saw some of the things you were looking at?  x3watch is a free accountability software program helping with online integrity. Whenever you access a website that contains inappropriate or pornographic material, the program will record the website, time, and date the site was visited. A person of your choice will receive an email containing a list of all the questionable sites you have visited that week. Tony and I have this installed on our computer and it’s been a simple way for us to bring up conversation about what we’re looking at online. It’s been especially helpful during this season that we’ve been researching infidelity and pornography. The number of times I’ve clicked on something thinking it would be a research article is a little embarrassing…

Learn more and download x3watch HERE

Know You Are Not Alone

As the infographic shows, 1 in 3 porn users are women. For us it has been helpful to know that there are others who are tempted and struggling. The reason we brought this issue to #staymarried is because we are faced with temptation nearly every day, and we realize that it takes work not to succumb. Porn addiction is one of the most difficult addictions to overcome. xxxchurch.com has become a resource for thousands of men and women, parents and couples, offering a safe online community for awareness and accountability. If you think you’re the only one with this secret, we urge you to read some of the confessions sent into xxchurch.com

Confessions from Men          Confessions from Women

P.S. You are reading Porn vs. You, as part of a #staymarried series on infidelity, pornography, and forgiveness.  If you missed the first three parts, 7 Ways to Become a Better Forgiver5 Ways to Prevent Infidelity, or Is Porn a Problem?: Guest Post by Craig Gross, you might want to check them out. If you want to read more about safeguarding your marriage, you may also like Five Trust Building Boundaries.
Thanks for reading!
~Tony and Michelle

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23 thoughts on “Porn vs You

  1. When we were in the 8th grade my husband sang black balloon by the goo dolls to me at a middle school dance. He’s a accomplished artist and sang the same song to me on our wedding day. I would do my best to serenade him to the song that’s stayed apart of our lives for so long. 🙂

  2. I serenaded Matt in the car with a belting rendition of “You Can’t Get a Man With a Gun!” from Annie Get Your Gun…I don’t think he appreciated it (but I had him trapped!)

  3. I still owe Ronda a saxophone serenade of Whitney Houston’s “I Will Always Love You” (from the movie Bodyguard). She only asks me every other week to play it …

    1. Congrats, Sarai! You’ve been chosen as a winner for the Get Open Giveaway! Message us via our Facebook Page with your address so we can send you your autographed copy of Open by Craig Gross!

    1. Congrats, Matt! You’ve been chosen as a winner for the Get Open Giveaway! Message us via our Facebook Page with your address so we can send you your autographed copy of Open by Craig Gross!

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