Keeping communication going in marriage can be a lot of work. Words and intentions can be easily misunderstood. Sometimes we think we’ve expressed ourselves well and our partner still feels left in the dark. It’s easy to feel disconnected or disregarded. Yet, there is one simple and wordless way we can communicate love and a desire to be connected to our spouse. A kiss.
Remember back to that time in your relationship when all you wanted to do was make out? You might settle in to watch a movie together on the couch, but neither of you really cared what movie it was because you knew you’d spend the whole time kissing anyway. Then, when they weren’t around, all you could think about was kissing them and you’d spend your time daydreaming about the last time you kissed. As your relationship progressed, it’s likely that these hour long kissing fests fell by the wayside. If we’re not careful, we can lose that simple and powerful way to connect with each other altogether.
Dr. John Gottman recommends incorporating a six second kiss into your everyday life. Yep, six whole seconds. Six seconds before or after work. Six seconds in front of the kids. Six seconds before you get out of the car to go into the grocery store. Six seconds of kissing, if you’ve been out of the habit, can feel awkwardly long. I usually end up smiling in the middle of it because I kind of want to laugh. Those six seconds remind me that in all of my rushing around, I actually do have time to stop and love my husband. I have time to stop and be loved by him.
My words often fail me; I’m not always great at telling and showing Tony how much I adore him. But, we can say more and connect better in six seconds with a kiss than we can in a drawn-out conversation. So, have you had your six second kiss today?
You are reading Day 14 in our 31 Days of Loving on Purpose series. If you liked this post, you may also like some of our other Gottman inspired entries like It Really is the Little Things, 5 Ways to Prevent Infidelity, and Feed the Good Stuff.
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