A Military Marriage has Different Rules of Engagement

S4 Ep14 of The #staymarried Podcast: A Military Marriage has Different Rules of Engagement with Phil and Amy BallardPhil and Amy have been together for 18 years, have six kids, one dog and don’t really remember what sleep or sanity is like. He is a pilot, she is a photographer and together, they homeschool their kids where ever the Army sends them. They currently live near Frankfurt Germany and if it was up to them, they would travel the world full time, always have friends and family with them to enjoy it and there would always be dessert.

Tony and I had a great time talking with this couple, learning how they “started out of order” and then navigated the early days of military life together all the way to their present day cycles of connection and disconnection and re-learning all the time how to properly apologize.

Please enjoy our first interview with a military couple, Phil and Amy…

 

 

S4 Ep14 of The #staymarried Podcast: A Military Marriage has Different Rules of Engagement with Phil and Amy Ballard

S4 Ep14 of The #staymarried Podcast: A Military Marriage has Different Rules of Engagement with Phil and Amy Ballard

S4 Ep14 of The #staymarried Podcast: A Military Marriage has Different Rules of Engagement with Phil and Amy Ballard

S4 Ep14 of The #staymarried Podcast: A Military Marriage has Different Rules of Engagement with Phil and Amy Ballard

 

In case you’re here for photo evidence of my pretty nightstand books that Tony asked about at the beginning of the episode…

 

 

Don’t these books look like they all want to be friends?
Links for your convenience (non-affiliate)
Modern Kinship – A Queer Guide to Christian Marriage – Constantino Khalaf and David Khalaf
Paid for: My Journey Through Prostitution – Rachel Moran
The First 90 Days – Michael D. Watkins
#staymarried A Couple’s Devotional – What? like I wasn’t going to include it? it was honestly on my nightstand AND it color coordinates, so…
Dare to Lead – Brene Brown
Becoming – Michelle Obama

And here are the podcasts in Tony’s cue…

Podcast Screenshot

#staymarried – A marriage and relationship podcast (you probably already knew this one)
The Adventure Zone – Three brothers and a dad playing hilarious table top games
Reply All – Internet hijinks and confusions explained
The Way I Heard It – Mike Rowe reads short tales with twist endings
Shop Talk – All things web design
99% Invisible – Remarkable everyday design (usually architecture) that goes unnoticed
Wireframe – A podcast about design

#staymarried After Hours

Want to hear more from The Petersons? You can learn more about #staymarried After Hours and how you can support #staymarried through Patreon here.

We want to hear from you! Leave a comment or question below for us or you can submit a question privately here: Ask #staymarried. We may even answer your question in an upcoming episode. Oh! Don’t forget we have a new phone number, too 262.622.6638

And, of course, keep in touch with us on the socials: TwitterFacebook, and Instagram. I’d love to connect on any of your favorite platforms. We can’t wait to hear from you!


#staymarried was created to offer hope, stories, and resources for couples who want to stay married.

If you’re NEW HERE, check out our About Page and read a little more about my own background on our first post.

Thank you for reading, sharing, and being a part of this #staymarried community!

~ Michelle

S4 Ep14 of The #staymarried Podcast: A Military Marriage has Different Rules of Engagement with Phil and Amy Ballard

 

 

Is Blame Sabotaging Your Marriage?

S4 Ep13 of The #staymarried Podcast: Is Blame Sabotaging Your Marriage? with Tony and Michelle PetersonThis week on The #staymarried Podcast, we dig in on a unique listener question that came in on Ask #staymarried…

Michelle, Tony.
Your podcast has changed me. I say ‘me’ and not ‘my marriage’ or ‘my couple’ because I have recently discovered you and have been binge listening to you on my own but haven’t involved my husband yet as I feel like I need to improve my perspective on marriage before I try and change my relationship. Your advice is not just useful for marriage, it is helping me be a more positive person and improve myself.

I am just coming out of 3 years of postnatal depression and lost all connection with my husband who I was blaming for all our problems. I am a child of divorce and If it wasn’t for the children I would have broken off the relationship very easily. I see things differently now and I am determined to be happy and allow and create happiness around me. You are hugely inspiring as people and you make me want to be a better person and you are inspiring as a couple because you remind us all of the incredible possibilities of being in a committed partnership, a safety net that is also full of love and laughter and adventure. This is to say thank you for all the science, truth and fun you share with us.

I do have a question for you too: I work in international development and we are about to embark as a family on a series of overseas postings. It will be very important for us not only to be strong as a family but to find and create a support network wherever we are. You often mention that you are both introverts. Yet you have a very public profile, tons of very tight friendships and connections, and you sound very confident. What do you mean by introvert and do you have any advice for me and my husband who are also introverts to help us build meaningful relationships.

Thank you YOU ARE AWESOME !!!!!
Maya

 

 

Well, thanks Maya! This episode is dedicated to you…

 

We mentioned Dr. Brene Brown’s work on this topic of blame. Here’s a great video where she goes in depth on the topic.

 

 

Find out more about The #staymarried Book here.

#staymarried: A Couple's Devotional by Michelle Peterson

 

#staymarried After Hours

Want to hear more from The Petersons? You can learn more about #staymarried After Hours and how you can support #staymarried through Patreon here.

We want to hear from you! Leave a comment or question below for us or you can submit a question privately here: Ask #staymarried. We may even answer your question in an upcoming episode. Oh! Don’t forget we have a new phone number, too 262.622.6638

And, of course, keep in touch with us on the socials: TwitterFacebook, and Instagram. I’d love to connect on any of your favorite platforms. We can’t wait to hear from you!


#staymarried was created to offer hope, stories, and resources for couples who want to stay married.

If you’re NEW HERE, check out our About Page and read a little more about my own background on our first post.

Thank you for reading, sharing, and being a part of this #staymarried community!

~ Michelle

S4 Ep13 of The #staymarried Podcast: Is Blame Sabotaging Your Marriage? with Tony and Michelle Peterson

 

 

A Widow’s Courage

S4 Ep12 of The #staymarried Podcast: A Widow's Courage with Tony and Michelle Peterson

Shawn and Dorina have been married 2.5 years and live in Central California with their three active daughters. Shawn works in financial investments and Dorina is an author/speaker. This multicultural couple loves to travel, train for marathons, and have food adventures together. If you saw them on the beach you’d never know that theirs is a love story of triumph.

After Dorina’s first marriage ended swiftly, leaving her a widow and a single mother, Shawn’s friendship turned affection came as a complete surprise. Their story shows us that life will never head in the same direction straight in front of us that we imagine it will. But, even when we face utter heartbreak and complete upheaval of our dreams, love wins in the end. If love hasn’t won, it’s not the end.

 

 

S4 Ep12 of The #staymarried Podcast: A Widow's Courage with Tony and Michelle PetersonS4 Ep12 of The #staymarried Podcast: A Widow's Courage with Tony and Michelle Peterson
S4 Ep12 of The #staymarried Podcast: A Widow's Courage with Tony and Michelle Peterson
S4 Ep12 of The #staymarried Podcast: A Widow's Courage with Tony and Michelle PetersonS4 Ep12 of The #staymarried Podcast: A Widow's Courage with Tony and Michelle Peterson

Dorina writes and speaks on grief and flourishing Dorina Lazo Gilmore, but my favorite book of hers is a children’s book called Cora Cooks Pancit – Dorina Lazo Gilmore about a young girl who finally gets a chance to learn to make some of her family’s traditional Filipino dishes herself. There’s even an app to engage your own little one in some cooking and reading.

CoraCooksPancit - Dorina Lazo Gilmore

#staymarried After Hours

Want to hear more from The Petersons? You can learn more about #staymarried After Hours and how you can support #staymarried through Patreon here.

We want to hear from you! Leave a comment or question below for us or you can submit a question privately here: Ask #staymarried. We may even answer your question in an upcoming episode. Oh! Don’t forget we have a new phone number, too 262.622.6638

And, of course, keep in touch with us on the socials: TwitterFacebook, and Instagram. I’d love to connect on any of your favorite platforms. We can’t wait to hear from you!


#staymarried was created to offer hope, stories, and resources for couples who want to stay married.

If you’re NEW HERE, check out our About Page and read a little more about my own background on our first post.

Thank you for reading, sharing, and being a part of this #staymarried community!

~ Michelle

S4 Ep12 of The #staymarried Podcast: A Widow's Courage with Tony and Michelle Peterson

 

 

The Magic of Paying Attention to Your Partner

S4 Ep11 of The #staymarried Podcast: The Magic of Paying Attention to Your Partner with Tony and Michelle PetersonBy now we know that if we want our marriages to be healthy we have to do a better job of connecting with each other. But, the common demands of life make it more and more difficult to remember that connecting means more than living life alongside each other. We have to be purposeful.

Making connecting with each other simpler was the major motivation behind writing the book #staymarried: A Couple’s Devotional. This book contains 52 chapters, one for each week of the year, and is designed as an invitation into your own marriage. We believe you already have what it takes to succeed and this book will help you draw it out with questions that will help you discover each other in new ways.

In this episode, Tony and I go through one of the chapters together for the first time since the book was published – Week 17: Pay Attention.

We were each surprised by each other’s insights and responses, and we both finished the conversation feeling pretty good about ourselves and each other. We hope you do, too.

Find out more about The #staymarried Book here.

#staymarried: A Couple's Devotional by Michelle Peterson

 

#staymarried After Hours

Want to hear more from The Petersons? You can learn more about #staymarried After Hours and how you can support #staymarried through Patreon here.

We want to hear from you! Leave a comment or question below for us or you can submit a question privately here: Ask #staymarried. We may even answer your question in an upcoming episode. Oh! Don’t forget we have a new phone number, too 262.622.6638

And, of course, keep in touch with us on the socials: TwitterFacebook, and Instagram. I’d love to connect on any of your favorite platforms. We can’t wait to hear from you!


#staymarried was created to offer hope, stories, and resources for couples who want to stay married.

If you’re NEW HERE, check out our About Page and read a little more about my own background on our first post.

Thank you for reading, sharing, and being a part of this #staymarried community!

~ Michelle

S4 Ep11 of The #staymarried Podcast: The Magic of Paying Attention to Your Partner with Tony and Michelle Peterson

 

 

Who is Taking Care of the Kids?

S4 Ep10 of The #staymarried Podcast: Who's Taking Care of the Kids with Tony and Michelle Peterson

Do you ever feel like you are just all the way done doing all the things all the time? You’re carrying the bulk of the chores and household responsibilities and you’re not even sure how this happened. You know you need help, but how do you even ask?

In this episode, we answer a question from Ask #staymarried, a wife wrote in asking for help with some burn-out she’s experiencing. We dig into “unpaid work” and inequality as well as what it really means to build a life together.

The question we’re answering today from Ask #staymarried comes from “Jenna” who writes…

I have been married for 15 years and have a 11 year old. Lately I feel like I want a separation from my husband . I have no doubt he loves me, and I have no interest in another. What is the problem, you ask? I feel like I have 2 children, instead of one. I am constantly reminding him to do things. I take care of the house, AND of our child; while HE picks and chooses. When I ask for help, he rolls his eyes and replies, “I guess.” Or, “that’s not my job.” He is a chronic complainer and can find fault with anything I do. I tell him how this makes me feel. He gets mad and tunes me out, or gets defensive. Frankly, I am burned out. Please help.”

Jenna, we’re here to help! We hope you enjoy this conversation.

 

In every part of the world, women spend more time on unpaid work than men do. #staymarried

Tony mentioned this video about a guy discovering his “magic coffee table.”

Tony also referenced a quote found in Brain Rules for Baby by Dr. John Medina. It it, he says, “A typical stay-at-home mom works 94.4 hours per week. If she were paid for her efforts, she would earn about $117,000 per year.”

S4 Ep10 of The #staymarried Podcast: Who's Taking Care of the Kids with Tony and Michelle Peterson

 

S4 Ep10 of The #staymarried Podcast: Who's Taking Care of the Kids with Tony and Michelle Peterson

 

S4 Ep10 of The #staymarried Podcast: Who's Taking Care of the Kids with Tony and Michelle Peterson

 

 

#staymarried After Hours

Want to hear more from The Petersons? You can learn more about #staymarried After Hours and how you can support #staymarried through Patreon here.

We want to hear from you! Leave a comment or question below for us or you can submit a question privately here: Ask #staymarried. We may even answer your question in an upcoming episode. Oh! Don’t forget we have a new phone number, too 262.622.6638

And, of course, keep in touch with us on the socials: TwitterFacebook, and Instagram. I’d love to connect on any of your favorite platforms. We can’t wait to hear from you!


#staymarried was created to offer hope, stories, and resources for couples who want to stay married.

If you’re NEW HERE, check out our About Page and read a little more about my own background on our first post.

Thank you for reading, sharing, and being a part of this #staymarried community!

~ Michelle

 

S4 Ep10 of The #staymarried Podcast: Who's Taking Care of the Kids with Tony and Michelle Peterson

 

Managing Money as a Team

S4 Ep9 of The #staymarried Podcast: Managing Money as a Team with Elle Martinez of Couple Money

Money matters are often listed in the top 5 reasons couples argue. But, what if something as intense as the topic of finances could instead bring us closer together? In this episode Tony and Michelle sit down with Elle Martinez of Couple Money to answer some listener questions, like this one…

Hey Michelle and Tony,

My husband and I have only been married for two years, and I guess we should have talked more about this before we got married, but I didn’t think it would be a problem. He works as a commercial electrician and I just finished my degree in early childhood education and am now looking for work. Now that I’m not a student anymore, I’m looking at a bunch of debt and I don’t have an income yet. My husband said he is willing to help me out of his income, but he is not interested in combining our bank accounts or our finances. He wants to keep everything separate.

Sometimes I feel like he is really generous to help me with all my debt, but I also think about my parents relationship and how they handled money so different than we do. They had a shared account and all the money they earned went into the one account. I guess my question is, do you guys think we are making it harder on ourselves by having separate accounts? Do you think there is an advantage to our marriage to having shared accounts, or is it better to keep it all separate?

Thanks for your help,
“Fannie Mae’s Favorite”

We hope you enjoy this conversation…

Elle is the author of Jumpstart Your Marriage and Your Money: A 4 Week Guide to Building Wealth Together. She is also the host of the Couple Money podcast where she regularly invites couples into greater understanding of their finances and the simple hacks that can help dump debt and build wealth. If you are an Email Friend, you should have already received Elle’s Free Money Toolkit she’s offered our community. If you’re not already on our email list, well, let’s go ahead and take care of that – Subscribe to #staymarried Emails – But, we’re not going to leave you hanging. Elle would still like to get this Free Money Toolkit into your hands. You can find out more here.

S4 Ep9 of The #staymarried Podcast: Managing Money as a Team with Elle Martinez of Couple Money

#staymarried After Hours – Financial Infidelity

We had so much to talk about with Elle that we weren’t able to fit it all into one episode. We continue the conversation over at our unlisted podcast, #staymarried After Hours, where we dug into the concept of financial infidelity. You can learn more about #staymarried After Hours and how you can support #staymarried through Patreon here.

 

We want to hear from you! Leave a comment or question below for us or you can submit a question privately here: Ask #staymarried. We may even answer your question in an upcoming episode. Oh! Don’t forget we have a new phone number, too 262.622.6638

And, of course, keep in touch with us on the socials: TwitterFacebook, and Instagram. I’d love to connect on any of your favorite platforms. We can’t wait to hear from you!


#staymarried was created to offer hope, stories, and resources for couples who want to stay married.

If you’re NEW HERE, check out our About Page and read a little more about my own background on our first post.

Thank you for reading, sharing, and being a part of this #staymarried community!

~ Michelle

 

S4 Ep9 of The #staymarried Podcast: Managing Money as a Team with Elle Martinez of Couple Money

 

 

 

 

 

We Are Black Love

S4 Ep8 of The #staymarried Podcast: We Are Black Love with Codie and Tommy Oliver

Tommy and Codie Oilver are the creators of Black Love, a docuseries on the Oprah Winfrey Network featuring married couples talking about what it takes to make love last.

Can you see how I might have taken an interest in their work?

Codie is the director and the couple produces together. The show debuted on OWN as the highest rated unscripted series in the network’s history and featured couples like Viola Davis & Julius Tennon, Tia Mowry and Cory Hardrict, Sterling K. Brown and Ryan Michelle Bathe, and Grant Hill and his wife Tamia.

Now, the reason I’m doing all of this name dropping is because, as you’ll hear in our interview with them, Tommy and Codie really won’t. But this intentionality they have with choosing their guests is significant to me because, what they’ve done by interviewing everyone from celebrities to non-celebrities is to show that nobody is above fights over dishes and laundry. They show clearly that there is no one perfect way to make a marriage work.

Enjoy!

 

S4 Ep8 of The #staymarried Podcast: We Are Black Love with Codie and Tommy Oliver

BlackLove.com is a digital destination for 360 degrees of Black Love from self love and dating to partnership and parenting.

Black Love, the series, can be found on OWN On Demand, Amazon, and the Urban Movie Channel streaming app. Season 3 airs in Spring/Summer 2019.

S4 Ep8 of The #staymarried Podcast: We Are Black Love with Codie and Tommy Oliver

#staymarried After Hours

Want to hear more from The Petersons? You can learn more about #staymarried After Hours and how you can support #staymarried through Patreon here.

S4 Ep8 of The #staymarried Podcast: We Are Black Love with Codie and Tommy Oliver S4 Ep8 of The #staymarried Podcast: We Are Black Love with Codie and Tommy Oliver S4 Ep8 of The #staymarried Podcast: We Are Black Love with Codie and Tommy Oliver S4 Ep8 of The #staymarried Podcast: We Are Black Love with Codie and Tommy Oliver

We want to hear from you! Leave a comment or question below for us or you can submit a question privately here: Ask #staymarried. We may even answer your question in an upcoming episode. Oh! Don’t forget we have a new phone number, too 262.622.6638

And, of course, keep in touch with us on the socials: TwitterFacebook, and Instagram. I’d love to connect on any of your favorite platforms. We can’t wait to hear from you!


#staymarried was created to offer hope, stories, and resources for couples who want to stay married.

If you’re NEW HERE, check out our About Page and read a little more about my own background on our first post.

Thank you for reading, sharing, and being a part of this #staymarried community!

~ Michelle

 

S4 Ep8 of The #staymarried Podcast: We Are Black Love with Codie and Tommy Oliver

 

 

 

 

 

Problems to Solve and Tensions to Manage

S4 Ep7 of The #staymarried Podcast - Problems to Solve and Tensions to Manage with Tony and Michelle Peterson

While we work on honing our communication skills and learning how to fight fair, it’s not always easy to know if what we’re dealing with is a problem that needs a soution or simply a tension that needs to be managed.

In this conversation, we tackle two of the most common marriage problems we hear about through Ask #staymarried. We’re answering not one, but TWO questions from listeners.

With the first question, we’ll address Laura and answer how to take criticism from your partner. Then we’ll answer a question from “Not into horses…” on how to navigate boundaries with the in-laws.

Enjoy!

 

 

S4 Ep7 of The #staymarried Podcast with Tony and Michelle Peterson

Season 3 Episode 7 of The #staymarried Podcast: Problems to Solve and Tensions to Manage

S4 Ep7 of The #staymarried Podcast with Tony and Michelle Peterson

 

#staymarried After Hours

Want to hear more from The Petersons? You can learn more about #staymarried After Hours and how you can support #staymarried through Patreon here.

We want to hear from you! Leave a comment or question below for us or you can submit a question privately here: Ask #staymarried. We may even answer your question in an upcoming episode. Oh! Don’t forget we have a new phone number, too 262.622.6638

And, of course, keep in touch with us on the socials: TwitterFacebook, and Instagram. I’d love to connect on any of your favorite platforms. We can’t wait to hear from you!


#staymarried was created to offer hope, stories, and resources for couples who want to stay married.

If you’re NEW HERE, check out our About Page and read a little more about my own background on our first post.

Thank you for reading, sharing, and being a part of this #staymarried community!

~ Michelle

 

 

S4 Ep7 of The #staymarried Podcast with Tony and Michelle Peterson

Adoption Changes Everything

Podcast_S4Ep6_SocialSquare1

Adoption is a beautiful thing. It is a life-altering process, not only for the one who is adopted, but for an entire family and generations beyond. Adoption is beautiful and it changes everything.

We have walked with friends through different forms of adoption; international adoption, domestic adoption, infant-first-day-of-life adoption, and pre-teen adoption. With each family, we see adoption from a slightly different vantage point, but the truth is, we have never experienced this life changing event for ourselves. So, when our #staymarried community began to bring us more questions around how adoption impacts a marriage, we knew we had to reach out to people we know that have walked through it themselves.

In this interview, we talk with Jesse and Marisa Butterworth.

Marisa is the co-founder of Modern Mouse Design, a Disney concierge service where she and her co-founder Sweina take all the guess work and headaches out of planning your trip to Disneyland. They are Disney fanatics and have figured out some pretty genius ways to guarantee fun no matter how restricted your budget is or how little your kids are. They also highly advocate experiencing Disney WITHOUT the kids, so you might consider Modern Mouse Design for your next #staymarried getaway.

Modern Mouse Design on The #staymarried Podcast

 

Butterworth Family at Disneyland on The #staymarried Podcast

Jesse is the lead singer of the band The West Coast Feed. Honoring the collective legacies of Memphis, Muscle Shoals and New Orleans, The West Coast Feed – eight members strong — generates a modern and electrifying swagger rock/soul experience. They’ve been featured in Substream Magazine, Audio Fuzz, and many others. You can find them on Spotify. Their first full-length album releases THIS WEEK on October 26th. The band is on tour now and if you listen all the way to the end of the interview, we’ll even give you a taste of their sound with their song “You Belong To Me.”

The West Coast Feed on The #staymarried Podcast

 

THE STORY BEHIND “You Belong To Me”

“When we (Jesse & Marisa) first started the adoption process, we were told that it would be about 9 months before we could expect to bring our daughter home, but because all kinds of changing situations in Ethiopia, that timeline got stretched out to over 3 years. During those 3 years we went through a roller coaster of emotions, and a mountain of paperwork, but all the while we knew that it would be worth it when we were able to bring our little girl home to be a part of our family forever. And was it ever worth it. This is a picture of the very first time my wife got to hold our baby girl that we fought so hard to bring home. Our little family is complete now, and we are so grateful to the incredible people at All God’s Children International for helping us bring our daughter home, that we have been partnering with them for years to help bring orphan care to the 8 million children around the world who don’t have parents or family to care for them. In fact, a portion of everything that we make as a band goes to All God’s Children International so that we can keep making a positive difference in the lives of children around the world.” – Jesse Butterworth

Butterworth Family at Disneyland on The #staymarried Podcast

Please enjoy our conversation with Jesse and Marisa Butterworth…

In the episode, we mentioned a video the Butterworth’s made a few years ago to help others with akward conversations around adoption. Here’s that video…

 

 

#staymarried After Hours

Want to hear more from The Peterson’s? You can learn more about #staymarried After Hours and how you can support #staymarried through Patreon here.

We want to hear from you! Leave a comment or question below for us or you can submit a question privately here: Ask #staymarried. We may even answer your question in an upcoming episode. Oh! Don’t forget we have a new phone number, too 262.622.6638

And, of course, keep in touch with us on the socials: TwitterFacebook, and Instagram. I’d love to connect on any of your favorite platforms. We can’t wait to hear from you!


#staymarried was created to offer hope, stories, and resources for couples who want to stay married.

If you’re NEW HERE, check out our About Page and read a little more about my own background on our first post.

Thank you for reading, sharing, and being a part of this #staymarried community!

~ Michelle

 

 

InstagramStoriesGraphic_S4Ep6a

Church Shopping, or Nah?

Podcast_S4_SocialSquare5

Whether or not you grew up in a culturally religious home, there is no denying that the way we think about spirituality as adults impacts the way we treat each other in our marriages.

While it’s not necessary to see eye-to-eye on every detail of your theology – what you think about God – it is important to have common ground. Yet, even when two people share their faith, they may not agree on how that faith works out when it comes to attending religious services or going to church as a family.

In this episode, we unpack a question from Rachel submitted to Ask #staymarried. She’s concerned that her husband Shawn, who once attended church with her regularly, would now prefer to spend his Sundays hunting and fishing. She asked us if we have advice on how to “get him to come to church” with her. We address that, as well as our own perspective on our current “church shopping” journey.

Enjoy!

I mentioned Church Clarity as one helpful resource if you happen to be on your own “church shopping” journey. You can learn more about them here… And, we agree with them; Clarity is reasonable.

Church Shopping, or Nah? Church Clarity is Reasonable

 

 

#staymarried After Hours

Want to hear more from The Peterson’s? You can learn more about #staymarried After Hours and how you can support #staymarried through Patreon here.

 

We want to hear from you! Leave a comment or question below for us or you can submit a question privately here: Ask #staymarried. We may even answer your question in an upcoming episode. Oh! Don’t forget we have a new phone number, too 262.622.6638

And, of course, keep in touch with us on the socials: TwitterFacebook, and Instagram. I’d love to connect on any of your favorite platforms. We can’t wait to hear from you!


#staymarried was created to offer hope, stories, and resources for couples who want to stay married.

If you’re NEW HERE, check out our About Page and read a little more about my own background on our first post.

Thank you for reading, sharing, and being a part of this #staymarried community!

~ Michelle

 

 

InstagramStoriesGraphic_S4Ep5a

Grieving with Hope After Miscarriage and Loss

Grieving with Hope After Miscarriage and Loss with Ryan and Adriel Booker on The #staymarried Podcast

“I used to think miscarriage and infant loss were women’s issues,” Adriel told us. “But, after going through this with my own husband, I see that these things impact both men and women, and your entire family and community.”

On October 25, 1988, then President Ronald Reagan dedicated the entire month of October as Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month (P.A.I.L.). We’ve since learned that roughly 1 in 4 women will or have experienced a miscarraige in their lifetime. As high as that statistic is, and with an international awareness campaign picking up steam since the 80’s, it is still uncommon to hear real stories of what this experience does to a family.

Ryan and Adriel Booker generously share their experience with grief and loss and also hope. After experiencing 3 miscarriages, they reflect on their journey and share much wisdom for the rest of us. Whether you’ve experienced miscarriage and loss in your own life or not, statistically speaking you know someone who has and this episode will shine a light on what it’s really like and how to navigate these rough waters with your marriage intact.

About the Bookers

Ryan and Adriel Booker lead an urban YWAM ministry together in the heart of Sydney, Australia. They have three beautiful (loud, spirited, sensitive, hilarious) boys around their dinner table and three little ones in heaven. Their other “son” is Frankie the pup, who thinks he’s human. Grace Like Scarlett: Grieving with Hope After Miscarriage and Loss with Ryan and Adriel Booker on The #staymarried Podcast
Adriel sometimes wonders how she got completely buried in boys but is thankful they have Coco the kitty to help balance out all the man power in the place. (She only wishes Coco wasn’t so afraid of all the boys. Where’s the #girlpower?) In their spare time, Ryan likes to create things Adriel can’t find space for in the house, and Adriel likes to rearrange furniture at convenient times like 10:00pm on Tuesday night.

Adriel is the author of Grace Like Scarlett: Grieving with Hope after Miscarriage and Loss and together Ryan and Adriel have a passion to see God’s goodness known among the earth through whatever opportunities they’re given.

Please enjoy our conversation with Ryan and Adriel.

 

Journaling Our Scarlett Stories

Seeing the healing power of sharing her own stories and also reading countless other men and women share their stories, Adriel has generously created a guide for those processing their own grief after miscarriage and loss. You can access that free resource here.

Grieving with Hope After Miscarriage and Loss with Ryan and Adriel Booker on The #staymarried Podcast

Grieving with Hope After Miscarriage and Loss with Ryan and Adriel Booker on The #staymarried Podcast

 

Grieving with Hope After Miscarriage and Loss with Ryan and Adriel Booker on The #staymarried Podcast

Grieving with Hope After Miscarriage and Loss with Ryan and Adriel Booker on The #staymarried Podcast

Grieving with Hope After Miscarriage and Loss with Ryan and Adriel Booker on The #staymarried Podcast

Grieving with Hope After Miscarriage and Loss with Ryan and Adriel Booker on The #staymarried Podcast

 

Grieving with Hope After Miscarriage and Loss with Ryan and Adriel Booker on The #staymarried Podcast

 

Grieving with Hope After Miscarriage and Loss with Ryan and Adriel Booker on The #staymarried Podcast

 

#staymarried After Hours

For the sake of time, we needed to cut our conversation with the Bookers a little short on this interview, but we continued it on our new side-show #staymarried After Hours. There, Ryan and Adriel shared more about how they worked to keep their marriage intact during this grieving process as well as how they included their young children in their mourning. You can learn more about #staymarried After Hours and how you can support #staymarried through Patreon here.

Grieving with Hope After Miscarriage and Loss with Ryan and Adriel Booker on The #staymarried Podcast

We want to hear from you! Leave a comment or question below for us or you can submit a question privately here: Ask #staymarried. We may even answer your question in an upcoming episode. Oh! Don’t forget we have a new phone number, too 262.622.6638

And, of course, keep in touch with us on the socials: TwitterFacebook, and Instagram. I’d love to connect on any of your favorite platforms. We can’t wait to hear from you!

Want to get your hands on this sweet new #staymarried Snapback? Find it here.


#staymarried was created to offer hope, stories, and resources for couples who want to stay married.

If you’re NEW HERE, check out our About Page and read a little more about my own background on our first post.

Thank you for reading, sharing, and being a part of this #staymarried community!

~ Michelle

 

 

Grieving with Hope After Miscarriage and Loss with Ryan and Adriel Booker on The #staymarried Podcast

Unemployment and the Basic Needs of a Marriage

S4 Ep3 of The #staymarried Podcast with Tony and Michelle Peterson

It’s tough to work on your relationship when your basic needs are threatened. It’s tough to be kind, respectful, and gracious toward those around you when you don’t know where your next meal is coming from or if you might not have a place to live. Losing your job, your home, or your business unexpectedly can be one of the greatest strains a relationship can endure.

In this episode I share, that ever since we both lost our jobs, I’ve been thinking about what that strain is doing to our marriage. Using Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs as a lense, we explore together what this season of unemployment has taught us about the true value of investing in our own relationship. We also share the practical tools we’re using to make sure we’re still on the same team.

Enjoy!

“It is quite true that man lives by bread alone — when there is no bread. But what happens to man’s desires when there is plenty of bread and when his belly is chronically filled?

At once other (and “higher”) needs emerge and these, rather than physiological hungers, dominate the organism. And when these in turn are satisfied, again new (and still “higher”) needs emerge and so on. This is what we mean by saying that the basic human needs are organized into a hierarchy of relative prepotency” (Maslow, 1943, p. 375).

It’s important to know that Maslow’s theory evolved over time, the needs expanded and descriptions became more detailed and granular. But, for the purposes of our conversation together, Tony and I only focused on the original five stages.

Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs of The #staymarried Podcast with Tony and Michelle Peterson

I also mentioned the following book by Eli J. Finkel. In The All-or-Nothing Marriage, this author also explores how Maslow’s concept of the hierarchy of needs relates to marriage. Worth a look if you’re on the hunt for your next marriage resource.

The All-or-Nothing Marriage by Eli J. Finkel #staymarried Podcast with Tony and Michelle Peterson

#staymarried is now on Patreon

We have BIG DREAMS to see #staymarried become self-supporting so we can expand and develop new resources to help couples with their own goals to #staymarried. One of the resources I’d love to offer is transcripts of past episodes. We know our blog posts are translated into many languages because of the magic of the internet, and we’d love to make our show more accessible, too.

Patreon has been a fun way for us to interact with listeners that want to see these big dreams become a reality. We’ve got a secret/unlisted podcast called #staymarried After Hours where we continue the conversation from our regular show and share even a few more behind the scenes insights. You can learn more about how to support #staymarried through Patreon for as little as $1 per month here.

 

We want to hear from you! Tony opened the show by asking me a critical question: What is my zombie apocalypse weapon of choice? Did you and your partner answer the question? Would we all be zombie warriors together, or did you choose a weapon that’s definitely going to get us all killed? Share in the comments.

We would also like to know what would you like us to cover this season. Leave a comment or question below for us or you can submit a question privately here: Ask #staymarried. We may even answer your question in an upcoming episode. Oh! Don’t forget we have a new phone number, too 262.622.6638

And, of course, keep in touch with us on the socials: TwitterFacebook, and Instagram. I’d love to connect on any of your favorite platforms. We can’t wait to hear from you!

Want to get your hands on this sweet new #staymarried Snapback? Find it here.


#staymarried was created to offer hope, stories, and resources for couples who want to stay married.

If you’re NEW HERE, check out our About Page and read a little more about my own background on our first post.

Thank you for reading, sharing, and being a part of this #staymarried community!

~ Michelle

 

 

S4 Ep3 of The #staymarried Podcast with Tony and Michelle Peterson

A Devotional Journey

S4 Ep2 of The #staymarried Podcast with Tony and Michelle Peterson and Brian and Ochelle Drysdale“I promise, Ochelle, he’s not a serial killer. What’s the worst that can happen? You’ll get a free meal out of the date…”

Those were the words that convinced Ochelle to make a date with a man she’d never met, O’Brian.

Brian, as he’s known by his friends, is a former Marine turned fitness manager and Ochelle is a software engineer. They live in Brooklyn where they both keep busy giving back to the community; Brian hosts a fitness boot camp and Ochelle directs the church choir and teaches kids to code through programs like Girls who Code and Allstar Code.

They also give back on Instagram where they can be found @OluvesO sharing videos of the real and raw coversations they’re having as they read through #staymarried: A Couple’s Devotional. As an author, I was intrigued to hear the unique ways they apply this book to their lives and how it’s not only made an impact on their marriage, but on their relationships with their family and friends.

We hope you enjoy our conversation with OluvesO…

 

S4 Ep2 of The #staymarried Podcast with Tony and Michelle Peterson and Brian and Ochelle Drysdale

S4 Ep2 of The #staymarried Podcast with Tony and Michelle Peterson and Brian and Ochelle Drysdale

S4 Ep2 of The #staymarried Podcast with Tony and Michelle Peterson and Brian and Ochelle Drysdale

#staymarried is now on Patreon

You can learn more about how to support #staymarried through Patreon for as little as $1 per month here.

The #staymarried Book

#staymarried: A Couple's Devotional by Michelle PetersonThe #staymaried Book is a 52 Week Couples Devotional, each chapter exploring how our faith works together with our everyday lives and with relationship research to give a fuller picture of how we can create a marriage that doesn’t simply last, but fulfills our lives and helps us pursue our dreams. Find out more about the book here.

 

We want to hear from you! Did you answer the question from the episode? What would you like us to cover this season? Leave a comment or question below for us or you can submit a question privately here: Ask #staymarried. We may even answer your question in an upcoming episode. Oh! Don’t forget we have a new phone number, too 262.622.6638

And, of course, keep in touch with us on the socials: TwitterFacebook, and Instagram. I’d love to connect on any of your favorite platforms. We can’t wait to hear from you!

Want to get your hands on this sweet new #staymarried Snapback? Find it here.


#staymarried was created to offer hope, stories, and resources for couples who want to stay married.

If you’re NEW HERE, check out our About Page and read a little more about my own background on our first post.

Thank you for reading, sharing, and being a part of this #staymarried community!

~ Michelle

 

 

S4 Ep2 of The #staymarried Podcast with Tony and Michelle Peterson and Brian and Ochelle Drysdale

New & Improved

S4 Ep1 of The #staymarried Podcast with Tony and Michelle PetersonA lot can happen in a year. Some years of our marriage have felt like imprints of the years before, but not this year. This year had more twists and turns, highs and lows, wins and losses, than any of our previous 11 years together. Whew! We are still trying to catch our breath from this whirlwind and we know we are far from settled just yet. But, that’s not stopping us…

We are thrilled to be back with Season 4 of The #staymarried Podcast. We’ve missed you, your questions and emails. We’ve often wished we could hear your voices, so… NOW WE CAN!

Call Us! 262.622.6638

One of the fun features that makes us NEW & IMPROVED is a good old fashioned telephone. If you’d rather chat than type, you can now call us and leave us a short and sweet message. With your permission, we may even incorporate it into an episode on the show. Tony keeps saying he wants to be more “interactive” so, I sure hope you call because he recorded an outgoing message and everything. He thinks you’re gonna call…

#staymarried is now on Patreon

One of the challenges we faced over the break between Seasons 3 and 4 was cutting back on some outgoing expenses from our family budget. For the first time ever, we had to consider NOT funding #staymarried ourselves (hosting and other blogging and podcasting related expenses add up). That meant we were either done for the time being, or we bring in advertisers and Tony dies a little inside, OR we toss it out to you fine people and see if any of you would like to help us make #staymarried fully listener-supported.

To thank our Patrons we’ve decided to host ANOTHER PODCAST! I know, that’s ridiculous. But, Tony talked me into it and so far he’s doing the majority of the work so right now it still feels like a good idea. This new podcast, #staymarried After Hours, takes all the thoughts and trimmings from interviews and our own private conversations and picks them up off the cutting room floor, carefully stitches them together, and delivers them to you. As a Patron, you will get to help shape the format and content of this unlisted podcast, so we can’t wait to see what you come up with. You can learn more about how to support #staymarried through Patreon for as little as $1 per month here.

 

 

We want to hear from you! Did you answer the question from the episode? What would you like us to cover this season? Leave a comment or question below for us or you can submit a question privately here: Ask #staymarried. We may even answer your question in an upcoming episode. Oh! Don’t forget we have a new phone number, too 262.622.6638

And, of course, keep in touch with us on the socials: TwitterFacebook, and Instagram. I’d love to connect on any of your favorite platforms. We can’t wait to hear from you!

Want to get your hands on this sweet new #staymarried Snapback? Find it here.


#staymarried was created to offer hope, stories, and resources for couples who want to stay married.

If you’re NEW HERE, check out our About Page and read a little more about my own background on our first post.

Thank you for reading, sharing, and being a part of this #staymarried community!

~ Michelle

 

 

S4 Ep1 of The #staymarried Podcast with Tony and Michelle Peterson

S3 E23 | Marriage is Not a Product. It’s an Investment.

Marriage is an InvestmentWe live in a consumer culture, and it’s easy to fall into the mentality that your marriage is a product that either works for you or it fails you.

But, the truth is, marriage is not a prodcut. It’s an investment. It requires a little work all the time in order to thrive.

In this episode of The #staymarried Podcast, we address one listener’s email about how #staymarried has failed his marriage…

 

Enjoy!

 

Listen to “S3 E23: Marriage is Not a Product. It’s an Investment.” on Spreaker.

 

 

Feel free to leave a comment or question below for us or you can submit a question privately here: Ask #staymarried. We may even answer your question in an upcoming episode.

And, of course, keep in touch with us on the socials: TwitterFacebook, and Instagram. I’d love to connect on any of your favorite platforms. We can’t wait to hear from you!


Tony and Michelle Peterson 2017The #staymarried blog was created to offer hope, stories, and resources for couples who want to stay married.

If you’re NEW HERE, check out our About Page and read a little more about my own background on our first post.

Thank you for reading, sharing, and being a part of this #staymarried community!

~ Michelle

 

S3 E22 | How You Show Up Under Pressure Matters

staymarried_S3Ep22_RobM_Image1In this episode we talk with our good friend Dr. Rob McKenna and he shares with us his insights on whole leadership development. His studies of how we each show up under pressure can effect our professional lives as well as our relationships with each other.

Enjoy!

 

Listen to “S3 Ep22: How You Show Up Under Pressure Matters” on Spreaker.

We’re looking forward to Dr. McKenna’s upcoming book: Composed – The Heart and Science of Leading Under Pressure. You can find out more here.

Composed - The Heart and Science of Leading Under Pressure Dr. Rob McKenna

Feel free to leave a comment or question below for us or you can submit a question privately here: Ask #staymarried. We may even answer your question in an upcoming episode.

And, of course, keep in touch with us on the socials: TwitterFacebook, and Instagram. I’d love to connect on any of your favorite platforms. We can’t wait to hear from you!


Tony and Michelle Peterson 2017The #staymarried blog was created to offer hope, stories, and resources for couples who want to stay married.

If you’re NEW HERE, check out our About Page and read a little more about my own background on our first post.

Thank you for reading, sharing, and being a part of this #staymarried community!

~ Michelle

 

S3 E21 | A Peek Inside a Therapist’s Marriage with Zach and Rebecca Brittle

S3 Ep21 - Watching for Sparks, with Zach and Rebecca Brittle“People seldom improve when they have no other model but themselves to copy.”

That idea, attributed to Oliver Goldsmith, reminds me that having friends with healthy marriages is a great way to keep my own marriage strong and healthy.

That’s one of the reasons we interview couples like Zach and Rebecca Brittle. You may remember Zach Brittle from Season 2, Episode 4 when he shared his perspective as a Marriage and Family Therapist about how we can find romance in our everyday interactions with each other.

In Season 3, we’ve been more focused on sharing stories of real married couples and I really wanted to hear from his wife! Tony and I had spent some time with Zach and Rebecca a few months ago, and they were so full of hope and practicality, that we decided to invite them over again and this time we put microphones in front of their faces.
S3 Ep21 - Watching for Sparks, with Zach and Rebecca Brittle

Zach often jokes that he and Rebecca have been happily married for 19 out of 20 years. Well, in this interview, Tony didn’t let him get away with this joke. I’m so glad Tony asked some bold questions and so thankful that Zach and Rebecca were willing to share about the hardest seasons in their 20 year marriage along with some hope and insights for those of us who have yet to cross that incredible milestone.

Enjoy!

 

Listen to “S3 Ep21: A Peek Inside a Therapist’s Marriage with Zach and Rebecca Brittle” on Spreaker.

 

Not only is Zach Brittle a pro, he is also super generous.
Zach’s offering our #staymarried community this fantastic resource for FREE.
Click here to get 20 Questions for Deeper Connection.

Every person who downloads this free gift will also be entered to win lifetime access to Zach’s online marriage course: Marriage in Motion.
Normally this course costs at least $397, but one of you is getting access for FREE! Can you tell I’m a little excited for you?

20 Questions for Deeper Connection by Zach Brittle

Download 20 Questions

 

S3 Ep21 - Watching for Sparks, with Zach and Rebecca Brittle

Feel free to leave a comment or question below for us or you can submit a question privately here: Ask #staymarried. We may even answer your question in an upcoming episode.

And, of course, keep in touch with us on the socials: TwitterFacebook, and Instagram. I’d love to connect on any of your favorite platforms. We can’t wait to hear from you!


Tony and Michelle Peterson 2017The #staymarried blog was created to offer hope, stories, and resources for couples who want to stay married.

If you’re NEW HERE, check out our About Page and read a little more about my own background on our first post.

Thank you for reading, sharing, and being a part of this #staymarried community!

~ Michelle

 

S3 E20 | The Positive Perspective

A Positive Perspective Could Make All The Difference #staymarriedIt’s natural to feel the impact of negative interactions more intensely than the positive ones. But, if we want to enjoy our marriages for decades to come, we need to learn the practice and benefits of developing a positive perspective.

In this episode we break down what we’ve learned from Dr. John Gottman and others about this essential marriage ingredient.

 

Enjoy!

 

Listen to “S3 E20: The Positive Perspective” on Spreaker.

 

For more about the Positive Perspective, check out this article on The Gottman Blog by Zach Brittle:

The Positive Perspective

Feel free to leave a comment or question below for us or you can submit a question privately here: Ask #staymarried. We may even answer your question in an upcoming episode.

And, of course, keep in touch with us on the socials: TwitterFacebook, and Instagram. I’d love to connect on any of your favorite platforms. We can’t wait to hear from you!


Tony and Michelle Peterson 2017The #staymarried blog was created to offer hope, stories, and resources for couples who want to stay married.

If you’re NEW HERE, check out our About Page and read a little more about my own background on our first post.

Thank you for reading, sharing, and being a part of this #staymarried community!

~ Michelle

 

S3 E19 | Sex is Complicated

SexIsComplicated1She’s back! Dr. Tina Schermer Sellers is back to answer some tough questions about sex and the way the conservative church has placed undue pressure on a confused generation.

In her new book, Sex, God and the Conservative Church: Erasing Shame from Sexual Intimacy, sex therapist and internationally recognized expert in religious sexual shame, Tina Schermer Sellers, PhD, gives us the tools and cultural competence to begin to find healing for the sexual shame holding us back from living fully into both our spiritual and sexual vitality.

We hope you enjoy this interview…

Listen to “S3 E19: Sex is Complicated” on Spreaker.

Sex, God, and The Conservative Church with Dr. Tina Schermer Sellers on The #staymarried Podcast

S3 E18 | Good Listeners Make Great Lovers

In this episode we tackle another Ask #staymarried question. Are you doomed if you and your partner don’t see eye-to-eye… or doomed if your interests don’t align? This weeks question brings up the topic of misaligned interests.

If you’re ‘checking out’ when your partner tries to share their interest, you’re missing a huge opportunity to show love. So we’re talking about listening well, as well as provide a few easy tips on how to be a better and more loving listener.

Listen to “S3 E18: Good Listeners Make Great Lovers” on Spreaker.

 

The Characteristics of a Good Listener

A good listener is…
1. Patient
2. Reflective
3. Curious
4. Keeps the conversation about the other person
5. Not the devils advocate
6. Gives positive feedback

If after listening to today’s podcast you’d like to join Tony in his nerd-dom, The Adventure Zone podcast can be found here.

The Big Bang Theory also tackled this topic…

 The #staymarried blog was created to offer hope, stories, and resources for couples who want to stay married.
Feel free to leave a comment or question below for us or you can submit a question privately here: Ask #staymarried. We may even answer your question in an upcoming episode.

And, of course, keep in touch with us on the socials: TwitterFacebook, and Instagram. I’d love to connect on any of your favorite platforms. We can’t wait to hear from you!


Tony and Michelle Peterson 2017The #staymarried blog was created to offer hope, stories, and resources for couples who want to stay married.

If you’re NEW HERE, check out our About Page and read a little more about my own background on our first post.

Thank you for reading, sharing, and being a part of this #staymarried community!

~ Michelle