Holding Hands: A Simple Act with Profound Impact

Holding Hands: A Simple Act with Profound Impact #staymarriedI get anxious in crowds. I’m not tall; it’s hard for me to see. Some might even say, at 5′ 3.5″ (yes, I count that half inch), that I’m short. As a teenager I’d almost gotten used to being squished and stomped on when I went out to see live music. I feel my chest tighten and my shoulders clench when I see the inevitability of a crowd, and I begin to scan for ways to go around instead of going through. Tony, on the other hand, isn’t bothered at all. He IS tall, 6′ 2″, and walks confidently through crowds, weaving his way in the direction he wants to go. When we’re together, he grabs my hand and I follow. He leads me with that confidence, I know I’m safe, and my anxiety level goes way down. He doesn’t have a shield or body armor, he doesn’t push or yell at people, he just walks confidently holding my hand. He holds my hand.

Moving through a crowd is not the only time he holds my hand. In fact, he holds my hand most of the time when we’re out together. I remember one day, when we picked up a friend of his whose car had broken down, we’d stopped at a grocery store on our way to take him home. We all walked in together, and naturally, Tony grabbed my hand on the way in. “Woah!” his friend said, “PDA! What are you guys doing? Don’t let my wife see you doing that. I never hold her hand in public.” He doesn’t hold her hand?

Truthfully, until his friend made such a big deal about it, we didn’t even know it was a thing. Tony told him he was an idiot and then wrapped his arm tightly around my shoulder while we walked just to make a point. Showing me affection publicly – holding my hand, kissing my cheek, putting his arms around me – was not even remotely embarrassing to him. It’s something about our relationship I have probably taken for granted. He has never been stingy with his affection. He’s never made me feel strange for leaning into him or squeezing him in a tight hug for a few extra seconds.

Recently, during the birth of our third daughter, I needed his physical presence in the most crucial way. I was struggling through painful contractions. There were times I felt weak and inadequate and even scared. Tony held me, walked with me, encouraged me, held my hand and never let go. Between contractions I was able to look at him and I just marveled. I had been gripping him so hard, pulling down on him by the shoulders with all of my strength. At one point I even bit him on the chest as I buried my face from the pain. No doubt he had war wounds from the frenzy of a shockingly fast delivery – too fast to receive the epidural I pleaded for. Still he held my hand, cheered me on, gave me strength. At the end, once our daughter was born, he held my hand again as he prayed over our newborn and me. I’ve read that being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. Strength and courage were just what I needed, and loving and being loved by Tony did indeed give me both.

 Being deeply Loved by someone gives you strength while loving someone deeply gives you courage - Laozi | #staymarried

These were such profound moments for us as a couple, this birth experience. We had to trust in our physical communication because the words could simply not come out. I’m delighted to share this two minute video with you. I think you’ll see for yourselves the strength of love and trust, the power of holding hands and holding each other.

Holding hands is such a simple act of affection, and yet can carry such profound meaning. Holding hands adds to feelings of security and attachment. Holding hands has been shown to reduce the stress hormones in the brain. Holding your partner’s hand when they are describing a stressful situation can help them feel calm. It’s relaxing and can even lower the intensity of a fight.

There is immense power in this simple act. It takes only a moment and a little bit of good intention to reach for the one you love. We hope you give and receive the benefits of holding hands as often as possible, stay affectionate, and #staymarried.

If you liked this post, you may also like to read Same Team and To Love is To Listen. If you think these could benefit someone else’s marriage, please consider sharing.
New to #staymarried? Welcome! Check out why we started this blog and my first entry to get a little background.

Thanks for stopping by!

~ Michelle

P.S. Thank you to our regular readers & subscribers for waiting while we took our Blogternity Leave. We are so thrilled to introduce our newest little lady to you: Miss Alice Jane Peterson!
{ Feel free to click on the image to take a closer look at her sweet face and all of the details about her birth. }

Alice Jane Baby Announcement - #staymarried blog

6 thoughts on “Holding Hands: A Simple Act with Profound Impact

  1. I love the video! It just warms my heart and made me cry. Such an amazing experience to share with your spouse and the love you both share for this child. I love the example you are setting for your children and them seeing you love on each other. It’s a great reminder for me to make sure I am loving on my husband. Thank you!

  2. Hey Michelle,

    I absolutely love holding my wife’s hands whenever I can. In fact, on occasion I even give her kisses and tight hugs in public. There are moments when you are with the person you love that things or events just move you. When that happens, I don’t care where I am because I’m definitely going to take the opportunity to show my wife I love her more than anything in the world. As such, holding hands is definitely a regular part of our being together. It’s good to hear that someone else also enjoys that type of love.

    1. That is really sweet, Mikk! So glad you get it and you and your wife have so much affection between you. It’s wonderful!

  3. From a man’s perspective I can tell you I loved this article. I’d like to provide a little insight for how it feels to at least one man when his lady grabs his hand or leans into him.

    As men, we want to not only see ourselves as the protector of our family, the emotional and physical rock. We want our wives and/or girlfriends and kids to view us that way as well. Every single time we exit the car and walk to the isle at the grocery store she puts her arm to mine and our hands meet and take hold of one another and we walk hand in hand into the store or the church or wherever we are going. Every single time it makes me feel as if she trusts me and needs me. It’s not an ego thing as this may sound, it’s about knowing that your needed and loved.

    We hold hands everywhere we go and if we aren’t holding hands then either A) our hands are full or B) something is wrong and we need to discuss it.

    Knowing that this simple act holds some relevance to the women in our lives just makes it that much better. I’ll never stop holding her hand.

    Thank you!

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