New Year, Better Marriage

New Year, Better Marriage, a @staymarried blogNew Year’s Resolutions can be kind of a joke, right? I mean, is anyone NOT going back to the gym this month? Will anyone still be there in March? Research has shown that, after six months, fewer than half the people who actually make New Year’s resolutions have stuck with them, and, after a year, that number declines to around ten percent. Seems smarter not to make any at all, which is where I usually land, wallowing in cynicism. But not this year.

See, our friend Kevin made a New Year’s Resolution last year, and he managed to keep it. When I first heard about what he wanted to do, I felt inspired. And, just as if it had been my own resolution, it didn’t take me too long to forget all about it. Until a few weeks ago, when I heard he’d been successful.

Kevin’s resolution for 2012 was to run 500 miles for the year. Now, Kevin would not consider himself an athlete. He’s run races before, but never consistently run for fitness, and that’s what he wanted to change. Rather than writing down the usual, “Run more in 2012,” Kevin made his resolution measurable: “Run 500 miles in 2012.” He posted it on Facebook and started keeping track of how far he ran each time he went out and began posting that, too. Brilliant! Then, on December 7th 2012, he ran his last three mile stretch with his wife and a group of friends cheering him on as he finished! I would have loved to have been there!

I’m inspired by Kevin because he not only figured out something to shoot for, he realized he needed it to be measurable and he needed a system and support to help him reach his goal. I’m a systems person. I prefer data to “ guesstimates.” I like to see step by step instructions. Even though I’m a daydreamer, my visions always have a practical start and end. I prefer the functions in Excel way more than those in Photoshop. Practical to a fault, my least favorite game is “What would you do if you won a kagillion dollars?” It just doesn’t make sense to me. Am I going to win a kagillion dollars, or not? No? Then why are we talking about this?

So, when I heard what Kevin did, it struck a chord with my analytical cravings. He did it because he wasn’t lofty about it. He did it because he had a plan and he had steps he could measure. I think I want to do the same thing with my marriage this year, and I’m hoping many of you will consider doing so, too, and we can be for each other like the team Kevin had cheering him on.

Whether your marriage is hanging on by a string or this was the year you hit your stride, we can all do something to make our marriages better. Rather than focusing only on your individual resolutions about getting in better shape or spending less frivolously, we hope you’ll join us in making some resolutions for a better marriage, and like Kevin, make them measurable. This way we’ll know for sure if we are on track.

Take a look at our list, choose three or more, and kick off the coming year with a bang!

New Year, Better Marriage - #staymarried

While it’s true that most people who make resolutions fail at keeping them, there is hope. Research has reported that there are some simple strategies can help us stick with our New Year’s resolutions, such as: setting specific goals, sharing our resolutions with others, and focusing on the benefits of achieving the resolution.

What do you think? Feel free to modify anything on our list to suit yourselves more personally. Tony and I are still talking about which of these we’ll begin working on this year so that we don’t just #staymarried, but have a better marriage this year.

P.S. If you enjoyed this post and think it could benefit someone else’s marriage, please consider sharing. You can use the social media buttons at the top or bottom of this post. Also, if you’re new here, welcome! You might like to check out why we started this blog and my first entry to get a little background. Thanks for stopping by!
~ Michelle

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